Marriage : A Love or Business Affair?

Whenever a union of the children of top-notch business families is announced, the question of it being a business transaction or a truly cupid stuck affair is raised. There have been a few matrimonial alliances declared recently between the sons and daughters of successful businessmen.

Some of the alliances that make one think about the marital unions of the children of industrialists as a business affair more than love include:

-The latest entry in the league of business weddings is the matrimony of Infosys founder Narayana Murthy's son Rohan Murthy with Lakshmi Venu, daughter of TVS Motor chairman and managing director Venu Srinivasan.

-Another one barely a year ago is the marriage of Kishore Biyani's daughter Ashni Biyani to Vedanta Group head Anil Agarwal's nephew Viraj Didwania last December.

-Sajjan Jindal's daughter Tanvi Jindal and Radhakrishna Group MD Raju Shete's son Krishna Shete got married recently, adding to the list of matrimonies of the off-springs of leading businessmen.

Even though it is unfair to label these marriages as pure business transactions, the element of the same can not be denied. The celebration of the weddings of three such couples in last nine months is what triggered the question of business marriages as genuine love affairs or pure profit deals. The kids meet up and get to know each other during their courtship periods finally tying the knot much to the happiness of their businessmen fathers. Some of the couples continue to pursue participation in their own respective families while others begin working together.

The amalgamation of the businesses in form of the weddings of younger generation has been common from ages but is now been given an entirely different look of a love affair. But, one continues to doubt if the children of these leaders are a business booster to create new partnerships or really in love.

Lovable fights can add fun to your married life

Marriage is a very sweet bond, which gains its strength with time. It is very important for you and your life partner to give time and space to each other, so that to have a well maintained married life. Marriage is the bond, which needs a lot of care and time to come at a stage, where both, you and your life partner understand each other very well and have no scope for doubts and misunderstandings. There are fights and misunderstandings in every relation, but sometimes, small fights between the couple can add fun to the married life. It actually adds cherishable moments in your journey of married life.

It is also said, the more you fight with your life partner, you are bound to form stronger bond with him. So, there is no harm in having small tiffs with your partner, because in a way, it gives an opportunity to know his highs and lows. This also gives you a clarity on the relationship you share with your partner, and where are you lacking behind. It is very important to fill the gaps, between husband and wife, to give a smooth shape to their married life. In fact, if there are problems in your married life, then its better to talk about that and just way off the issues from your precious bond.

Having a small fight with your partner, and by not talking to him for one or two days, actually makes both of you realise the importance of each other. Getting apart for a small time period increases the urge of being together and reinforces all the feelings of love and care in both the bride and groom. So, next time, if you have a fight with your love, then first of all don’t let it drag for long, and make the best use of it and try and understand, where did you lack behind and what made you to have an argument with your life partner. Always try and learn from your mistakes and you must keep it in mind that you must not repeat those mistakes, which would annoy your life partner.

Intimacy shared in the courtship period makes a marriage bond strong

Marriages in India, from ages has been following the trends of arrange marriages, due to which marriage in a way is also called as one of the biggest risks, which we take in our lives. Though the concept of love marriages has brought a lot much change in way marriages are looked at in India. Today, we as youngsters are more free and optimistic in choosing our life partner, compared to our parents or grandparents. Our life moves the way want and we have the liberty to choose and fall in love with the person, of our preference. In case of love marriage, it’s very easy for the bride and groom to adjust after marriage, because they know each other very well and have already formed the bond of understanding. 

But in case of arranged marriages, it’s only the courtship period, which the bride and groom get to know each other before marriage. Though, after marriage, there is whole life to understand each other, but the excitement and the thrill, which prevails before marriage, is inexplicable. Its beyond explanation, I have experienced this, as one of my friends is going through this stage and he is always on the 9th cloud. His happiness and enthusiasm can be seen in his eyes and the way he talks. He is having an arranged marriage, but the period he is going through, his courtship period, is helping him getting close to his fiancée and now it seems no less than a love marriage. 

It is so strange, that in such a short period of time, they have got so close. I think, such is the power of love, which is experienced in the courtship period by the couple tying the knot of arranged marriage. The intimacy developed at the courtship period, gives birth to the feeling of love, which the bride and groom cherishes all long in their married life. 

Changing trend for marriageable age

There are many stages in life, which every person, whether it’s you or me, is bound to go through and handle it in a way that it turns out to be the best of the experiences. One of the phases in life, which is sure to change the whole definition of our life is the marriage. Marriages in India have always been given the priority and the search for the right match for marriage, starts as soon as we turn 25 or 26. Marriage in our grandparent days, were supposed to happen as soon as the child turns adult or even less. Then came the age, where parents didn’t use to think about our marriage, till the time we turn 25-26., though the age variation use to differ for boys and girls. But now days, the trend seems to be taking a u- turn and an early age marriage can be seen again.

The parents now- a-days, feel that as soon as their children starts earning a handsome income, he should be handled with the responsibility of marriage. In fact, with the love marriages slowly getting accepted in India, boys and girls themselves can be seen very excited about their marriage and want to settle down with their love in the right possible duration. This is also because of the maturation level achieved by the children these days, at a comparatively early age. The social and the professional life, brings a change in our total lifestyle and leads to the practise of dependency on others.  Also, there is an urge for a life partner to share all the problems and happiness with, for which the most promising solution seems to be marriage.

There is no harm in early marriage, i.e. after we get settled with our professional lives, but we should always keep this in mind, that marriage is a life long decision and should always be taken very carefully and with all the plus and minuses considered.  

Marriage decision

Everybody, whether it’s you or me, have been fanaticising about our marriage from our childhood. It is the biggest and the most talked about matter in the Indian families. As soon as the girl or the boy in an Indian house, reaches the eligible age of marriage, all over in his family and among his family members a wave of excitement and inquisitiveness runs, as in when is the girl or the boy will get married. It is actually a very weird feeling, you don’t know, to be happy or sad. You are obviously happy, as a whole new phase of life is waiting for you to get started. But, at the same time, a fear runs through the mind, how would the life partner would be like and whether you would be able to adjust with hum or not.

There is someone special for each one of us and it is pure fate, when and how we get paired with them for the life time. On the contrary, you should not leave everything on fate, but should be extra cautious while choosing the bride or groom for yourself. It is the biggest decision of life, so should be taken very carefully and with a proper analysis of each and every factor involved. I know relations like marriage and love are based on emotions, but at some stages you actually need to imply your mind, so that you take a wise decision and do not end up ruining your life with the wrong person.

Therefore, one should never match the speed of shatabadi, while taking the decision of marriage and should always finalise the life partner, after doing a proper research and checking if he/ she suits and compliments your personality. Love obviously cannot be calculated in a calculator, but the marriage decision, has to be very wise, because it embraces the peace and happiness of your whole life.

Weddings in Culturally Rich India

Indian weddings are probably the most elaborate and flamboyant weddings in the world. Our culturally diverse country represents many religions each with its different customs and beliefs. The wedding rituals and celebrations too are varied with multiplicity in traditions and communities.

The elaborate proceedings in Indian weddings convey togetherness in times of happiness and celebrations. The motto of such lengthy festivities is that all the relatives and guests should fully enjoy the unison of the couple. The dancing in the streets and the lighting of fire crackers during baraat procession for hours shows the pure joy that well wishers take in participating in the wedding.

The extensive decoration of marriage halls; the skillful packing and presentation of gifts; the fortune costing bridal costumes and make up and other such things emphasize on the grandeur associated with wedding in India. Marriage brings together two individuals in a sacred relation and so, it is performed in full fervor and ardent vigor. Month long preparations are made to rejoice the lifetime occasion even as feasting lasts for a week or more. Huge importance is attached with customs as they are age old and believed to be created by our elders for good.

Sometimes, so many customs and rituals make it cumbersome to arrange a wedding but this is what makes Indian weddings stand class apart. It takes face of a shopping festival with a million things to buy and make good arrangements that are liked and appreciated by the guests. A cherished wedding is one where the bride and the groom are blessed by all for a prosperous life in a divine environment under perfect settings. The culturally imbued ritualistic marriages are believed to last forever since God becomes the ultimate witness while endowing the couple with blessings.

Girls Resist Early Age Matrimony to Become Self-Reliant

Marriage in India is the most celebrated relation but brings many responsibilities with it. Only a responsible and well educated girl can shoulder the obligations that come along with the matrimony. And girls across the country seem to have understood the importance of education and of becoming self-dependent as they now opt for further studies than an early marriage.

The phenomenon of child marriage is quite prevalent in India even today with several areas and communities getting their children married before the actual eligible age. The rapid urbanization and globalization could reach only cities while towns and villages remained as ignorant as always. Parents kept violating human rights by marrying their children at an early age due to acute poverty and illiteracy. But, it seems that girls have now become aware of the hazards of marrying early and have decided to go against the tide. They now aim at achieving self reliance before dedicating themselves to the life filled with domestic responsibilities and household chores.

According to National Family Health Survey (NFHS-3), over half of Indian women were married before reaching the legal minimum age of 18 years. Early marriage is always linked to lack of education among girls as they are not able to acquire the understanding and skills needed to handle marital lives. A person well conversed with realities of life that may be garnered through education or other sources is better equipped to handle stress both mentally and physically.

It is extremely pivotal for the woman in marriage to be developed intellectually and physically. She can then decide what is right and wrong for her family; nourish her children better; impart qualities needed to live a good life; be a robust emotional support and even financial if needed. Only a learned woman can make the marriage successful away from male dominance and patriarchal pressures.

The first gift…

Marriage is the sweetest gift, given by the god to two human beings for their life time. Every human being, whether it’s you or me, everyone is very excited about each and every thing related to marriage. It’s a function, which involves a number of people, whose happiness and joyous moments are related to the closeness in the relation, they share with the bride or the groom. There are lot of things, combining which forms the reasons due to which the bride and the groom can live a cherished and a smooth married life. The very first meeting of the bride and the groom, just after their marriage gets fixed is a very precious one. There are a number of questions, which both of them have in their minds which are directly or indirectly related to expectations.

The biggest curiosity, which keeps the mind of the bride and the groom busy, is the first gift; they would get from their fiancée. There is a lot of excitement and pleasure attached to the gift, the expectations and their fulfilment, which both of them uses to greet each other. Whether it is the bride or the groom, both goes through a lot of mind boggling sessions, which makes them, decide what to choose and what not as the gift. The gift makes them form the first impression on their fiancée, which he or she carries through out the life. Therefore, the selection of the gift has to be the best and needs to match the personality of the bride or the groom.

The gift should also be the mirror image of the feelings, which the person has towards his fiancée, which helps in forming the base of their relation. so, whatever you choose as the first gift, needs to be very special and unique, and should in every way suit the personality of your would- be life partner.

Nervousness before the first meeting for matchmaking

As we grow up, we get to be more mature, leaving behind all the childishness and bubbliness in our behaviour. It’s because, with time, we are required to take decisions, which are often for life time, and have the power to make or ruin our whole life. One such decision is choosing the right life partner for marriage. Marriages in India are always considered as the life time bond, which binds the bride and groom with each other for the rest of their lives. In case of love marriage, you know the highs and lows of the person and it’s a well sought and tested decision. But, in case of arranged marriages, the time from when the talks about the marriage start, the tensions and a ticklish feeling start arousing around us. The nervousness before meeting the prospective bride or groom is unexplainable and plus the sweet and sour flavours are added by the family members and the relatives.

This suddenly came to my mind, because one of my friends is going through this stage and I can feel what he is going through all these days. Every moment you have this thing in mind, what would you talk to her, how would she react, will she like me, what would happen, and a series of questions keeps on banging your head every moment. It’s something, which is beyond explanation and plus when you know, once said yes, cannot be brought back. This is really inexplicable and different, something which you would never have experienced before.

The only thing, which I think and would suggest to all my friends going through this stage, is be positive and have an optimistic approach in whatever you do. I know nothing much can be drawn out of those ten minutes discussion, but try and take the best use of those few minutes and transform them to the best minutes of your life. Because, whether you say yes or no, it has to be for your good. So be alert and cautious at every step. ‘Just be yourself’, is the mantra and remember by following this, you can win over any situation.

Love is in the air!

Mere sapno ki rani kab ayegi tu ……!!Exactly this is the song, which every bachelor can be seen singing today. Love is in the air and so are the marriages. Marriage is the ultimate stamp, which gives certification to the love and the bond shared between couples. It has become so much important these days, to know a person before marrying him. We just cannot risk our entire lives, with a person, whom we do not even know. Understanding and compatibility being the prime reasons and many more has given rise to the sudden increase in the number of love marriages happening in the country these days.

But to love, you need to find some one, who is compatible, understanding, caring, loving, charming and much more. And same are the traits required to marry some one and to be able to spend your entire life with the same person. Its not that we will search and we will find, whom we can love or not, it’s something, which just happens. Its very well known and rightly said, love is blind; we tend to see only the positives, when we start liking someone. But a number of factors are required to be kept in mind, because he/ she is going to be your future husband or wife. You are not looking at his negatives now, but don’t let the situation turn so bad that after marriage, you get to see only negatives in him. Don’t let your self fall into the pit; remember that you are choosing a person for your whole life.

I known love relations cannot be formed in the basis of calculations, but you really need to be cautious, in choosing your life partner. Because, as in earlier days, you used to evaluate a person in just five minutes before marriage, same is the case here, with the big difference, that the time provided is unlimited. So give all the time available in the world and then make your marriage as the best decision of your life.

Till then enjoy the rainy season with your loved ones!

Finding the right person for marriage

Marriage is a phrase, which all of us gets introduces to in our life time. The moment, we turn 23- 24 years, our parents starts pondering our lives, with the marriage proposals. Everywhere we go, our relatives, uncles, aunties, keep pinching us with the choices for marriage and different talks about marriage. Obviously one gets irritated out of it. But at the end, we have to get married, right? Well if you have already chosen your life partner, I mean you are going for the love marriage, then it’s not that tough. But the main difficulty comes in the arrange marriages, where you have parental pressure, plus time constraint, which makes you go hay way. The decision of marriage is the one, on which our whole life is dependent. Therefore, it is very important, that a proper research is done before choosing the person for marriage.

You obviously don’t have enough time, because giving verdict to the bride or groom’s party is also important, in the given time period. But, taking the right decision in the time available is the toughest thing to work on. In that small time only, you need to make the biggest decision of your life. A lot of research and enquiry should be made, before the bond of marriage gets finalised. Also, you should try and spend some quality time with the prospective bride or groom. Knowing the compatibility ratio and character traits of the person is very important. Though, the same cannot be achieved in such a small period, but at least you should have that analysing power, to judge the person’s personality according to his attitude and behaviour in the respective time.

Marriage is actually the biggest decision of life, so please don’t take it lamely and go through a proper research before giving your final verdict!

Journey of Indian Marriages

Indian marriages have traversed a long way from the days when couples hardly met each other before the wedding to the times of today when they make an informed, well though out decision on marriage after several meetings. Marriages used to last for a lifetime earlier but now they break up at any instant due to trivial issues.

Dr. Vijay Nagaswami in his recent book titled ‘The Fifty-50 Marriage: Return to Intimacy’ talks about issues revolving around marriage and their solutions. The idea of marriage has changed tremendously over generations- from being a spiritualistic institution to a pragmatic one. This is commendable as it moves on from the level of being a ritualistic exercise to the one where the couple is involved and ‘owns’ it. This sacred relationship has always been on a backburner until few decades ago where husbands and wives viewed the relation as a role play. It is much more than role playing in modern times with couples getting engaged as life partners and human beings.

The kind of love in the course of relation may change but the magic never dies down, be it an arranged or love marriage. Dr. Nagaswami says that romantic love in the initial years of a marriage gets replaced by either intimate love or nurturing love. As couples are much more demanding-both men and women- they make efforts to accentuate the quality of their lives and relations. It has become a novel idea for them since what they had seen in their parents’ marriage as a kid has undergone a complete transformation. The roles of women as home makers and men as bread winners do not exist anymore at least in urban India.

A married couple today is like partnering of two individuals embarking on the journey called life!

Spectacular Indian Weddings are back

With the long awaited goodbye to recession, the pomp and grandeur in Indian weddings are back. People are again splurging on weddings like always and celebrating the once-in-a-lifetime event with extravagance. Apparently, the adieu to economic slowdown is welcomed not only in terms of money but also celebrations.

The wedding splendor seemed lost for 2 years when fiscal meltdown hit the country. The expenses were cut down keeping celebrations modest without much show and revelry. The budgets shriveled considerably with switch to non designer dresses, lesser food items on menu, lower expenditure on pre-wedding ceremonies, controlled buying of jewelry, inviting limited number of guests, selecting the reasonably priced venues or destinations and so on and so forth. But, the spectacular wedding celebrations are back in India with the final exit of recession.

Even with soaring gold prices and inflating economy, Indian couples are willing to spend lakhs and crores of money on their weddings. The magnificent display involves gargantuan spending on wedding costumes, venue, jewelry and cuisines. The guest list has become longer and the squandering on pre wedding ceremonies has gone up. The trend of destination weddings has almost become a norm among the wealthy families. The dream weddings with fabulous backdrop-a beach resort or breathtaking hilltop and top vendors-from chef to make up artists are all coming true.

The latest wedding trends in India after theme weddings is destination weddings. They need whole lot of money as you need to transport people (friends & relatives), material (as it may or may not be available at the venue), labor (who will help make the arrangements) and other such things. Some of the preferred wedding destinations include exotic places like Mauritius, Honolulu, Florence or the Caribbean beaches, French vineyards, Spanish castles or aboard a cruise-liner.

Annual Wedding Fair in September

Weddings in India are a much celebrated event that unites two individuals into a couple amidst the sacred chants and best wishes of friends and relatives. Being a grand occasion, everything- from wedding costumes to make-up to gifts and sweets distribution- is given detailed attention. Hundreds of guests including both distant and close relatives from far flung areas are invited to the mega feast.

As soon as the term ‘marriage’ is mentioned, the image of a gorgeous bride decked in a stunning costume appears in our minds. The bridal costumes are of paramount importance when making preparations for a wedding as they give that ultimate princess look to the bride. The couples today are ready to spend a fortune to carve a memorable event that they can remember for a lifetime. The market for all bridal costumes and accessories has flourished greatly as the grandeur of the event multiplied.

Bridal Asia is celebrating its 12th edition by organizing an annual wedding fair, showcasing everything related to weddings under one roof. The three day wedding extravaganza begins on September 11 at Ashoka Hotel in New Delhi with designers from India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh participating in the exhibition. It will put on display everything from designer lehengas to breathtaking jewellery, from wedding planners to honeymoon packages and from lingerie to accessories. Things in vogue and those that can appeal the people are to be presented by designers like Sabyasachi Mukherjee, Rina Dhaka, Falguni & Shane Peacock, Jaya Rathore among others. The hottest trends of the season will also be unveiled by jewellery designers such as Dolly Oberoi, Notandas, Preeti Shah, etc. and accessory designers like Malaga and Bea.

This annual fashion wedding exhibition by Bridal Asia is a trendsetter and among the largest in India with an exclusive range of wedding attires.

Marriage Bureau for HIV Patients

India is gradually progressing in its social views and breaking the shackles of conservative and orthodox beliefs. HIV infected patients have long been kept on the peripheries of the society but with time, they are also included in the social gatherings and given their due right to live like others. The latest advancement is the setting up of a marriage bureau in Mumbai for HIV patients.

Marriage is a venerable institution that completes individuals by uniting them with their life partners. The marriage of HIV patients is looked at with raised eyebrows as it involves having kids and sex related problems. But, this marriage bureau, NTP+ (Network in Thane by People Living with HIV/Aids) engages services of counselors to give authentic medical advice to the members. It is related to marrying, sex related issues, conducting post marriage life, having children, etc.

Marriage is a great way of bringing happiness and meaning to the lives of HIV patients. Those infected say that living with HIV teaches them to value every single relation, friend, contact, etc. as they become precious fulcrums of existence. NTP+ aims at enhancing the quality of life and providing sense of security to the patients irrespective of their gender, caste or age. It has become a networking platform for them with members of all ages-from kids to young as well as old men and women.

Like other non infected people, they too value the relations, in fact, much more. They must also experience all the gifts of life and find a life companion for themselves.

Hands down to the founder of the community, Shabana Patel, who is encouraging mingling between HIV patients. This is sure not only to give them a renewed sense of hope but also a larger than life dimension to their insecure lives.

Misunderstandings can lead to blunders

Relations are very precious; they need special care and attention. You need to be extra careful, when it comes to taking care of a relation. Whether it’s any relation, friendship, siblings, or marriage, every relation needs a proper nourishment to keep growing. There are many things which are needed to be kept in mind, to make a relation strong and reach a stage, where nothing can even touch the integrity of the bond. Especially, in case of the marriages, the couple needs to give extra attention to keep the relation going. The bond of marriage is very delicate; therefore support from both the sides, i.e. bride and groom both should work as the two ends of that wire, which if broken, from any either ends, will lead to stoppage of the flow of current, corresponding to the breakage of the relation.

There are tiffs, misunderstandings and fights, in every relation, but you need to make your relation, reach a stage, where no such things can act as a hurdle in the growth of your relation. The bride and groom are entirely responsible for the bonding they share. If you have great understanding with your partner, then no outsider can have the courage to spoil your relation. It’s only who are accountable for any problems in your relation and on the other hand also, it can be you only, because of whom you and your life partner will lead a happy married life.

According to me problems, whether, big or small, must be discussed with your partner. What’s the use of lingering it on, and on the other side keeping your partner guessing things? This increases the irritation level. Also, marriage is a very pure bond, so everything should be clear and transparent between the husband and wife. This not only adds to the life of your marriage bond, but also makes your life synchronize to happiness and satisfaction

Youth and Caste System in India

Marriages are synonymous to lifetime commitments and eternal bonding in India. But, it all seems to be much ado about nothing with so many obstacles being created by family folks and peers around marriages. Even after 63 years of independence, an individual cannot exercise the right to choose his/ her life partner.

Why do we keep reading about something or the other bothering our community elders every other day? An unnecessary fuss is always created over things like caste, religion, sect or sub-caste (gotra) and what not! How is it that parents and brothers prefer killing their daughters and sisters in the name of ‘honor’ than let them spend their lives with persons of their choice. It is very disheartening to see young couples dying for being in love across rural and urban areas in India.

Why is such injustice and brutality earmarking the concept of acceptable marriage? Rather than reinforcing the already weak institution of marriage, the so-called moral police of the society are further deteriorating it. Marriages make for celebrated occasions but are now continually associated with violence, murder, un-acceptance and betrayal that too not between the spouses but their relatives.

It is alarming to see that in a country where same-sex marriages are legal, a person is disowned if he chooses a life partner even of opposite sex. It spells extremes of death and doom on the couple daring to select a partner of his/ her choice. When we have progressed so much on all fronts and claim to have made women achieve empowerment why is it that we are still caught in trivial issues like caste, religion, gotra, etc. Let us open our minds and let everyone live their lives as they wish without dictating and dominating them. Our elders need to understand and live and let live.

India accepting the concept of love marriages

Earlier whenever we use to hear the word marriage, it simply meant arranged marriages. No one could ever think of love marriages. In fact love marriage was considered a crime in our grandparent’s generation. But now- a- days marriage corresponds to only word i.e. Love marriage. Most of the marriages in India today are love marriages. Parents today have become more open towards the concept of love marriage and are welcoming the our choices as their daughter in law or son in law. They are more concerned about our happiness rather than their pride and the so called name of their kin. Earlier this was the major excuse given by the family members, when the children use to ask about love marriage. But now, the times have changed and parents have modernized their approach towards love marriage.

In fact in the last few days, most of the wedding ceremonies I have attended were the legalization of bond of love between bride and groom. It is somehow very important in the Indian society to have permission of the parents for marriage and also their blessings are always believed to be very important for the whole marriage journey of the couple. It is actually very good news for the youngsters these days, as no more we need to take extreme steps of running away from our house or to marry against the choice of our parents. But still there are few families who even today like to stick with their orthodox believes related to marriage. They still believe that inter- caste marriage is the biggest of the evil practices that a human being can perform.

A lot more needs to be done to enlighten and modify the thought process of our oldies in respect to marriage and its practices. But, I think, if this much has been achieved, then more reformations can surely be seen in the coming future, with no parents coming in between the love marriage of their children. Thus, making their life a happy and a cherished one.

Presence of celebrities in marriages

A marriage in India corresponds to fun, enjoyment, masti, pop and gaiety. We are always in wait of our cousins to get married, so that we can have fun- filled time there. All the peppiness and friendliness experienced in the marriage of one our close relatives cannot actually match any of the functions attended in life. The chores and the naughty things at the relative’s weddings form great memories and are unforgettable. You generally carry and rejoice these memories for life long. Marriage in itself is a huge event and just imagine how special it would become if some celebrity joins the wedding ceremony.

Now- a- days presence of celebrities in the wedding ceremonies is a common practise, but for that you need to shed a huge amount from your pocket. The presence of celebrities in a wedding makes it more entertaining and more talked about. These celebrities vary according to the standards of the family members of the bride and the groom. It can vary from a laughter champion to a film actor. The contacts of the family members, with any of the people from the film industry also turn out to be productive at the time of marriage, with their glimpse or presence at the marriage function. Just one glance of the film stars, or just one photographs of their with the Indian marrying couple makes the moment more memorable and cherished for long.

It is actually one of those lavishes, which can only be bared by the brats of top nosh people of the society. It is kinds of that expenditure, which can only be spend by those who have that extra money to spend. This is also in a way to show the standards and the capabilities of the family by having an extravagant wedding affair. Also in India, the film stars are actually worshiped as god, so their presence in a wedding ceremony adds a lot the importance of marriage from just being an event. I, personally have never got the chance of witnessing such marriages, but surely would want to, atleast for once and add those moments in the memories of my life time.

Institution of Marriage is Demolishing in India

Indian matrimony has always been associated with words like eternity, lifelong, everlasting and forever. It is the most beautiful relation that completes a man and a woman as they spend all their lives together with each other. Though it is not so easy to establish a lasting relation, Indian couples have been hugely successful in doing so. The fact not only fascinates everyone but also encourages them to do the same.

As rosy it may sound, it has changed in today’s times being no more an incorrigible relation. It can now be easily influenced by even the most insignificant and trivial of the issues like incompatibility, lack of cleanliness, bringing work home, lack of time, watching television, communication gap and so on. With women becoming fully aware of their rights and demanding equality, marital tensions are mounting up as males are not able to handle this empowerment. Adultery, extra-marital affairs, ego clashes, suspicion and lack of faith are constantly becoming reasons for the increasing number of marriage break ups.

It is interesting to note as figures reveal that chances of break up in love marriages are higher than in arranged marriages. The records state that at least 50% love marriages and 30% arranged marriages in India end up in divorce. Breaking marriages is not unheard of anymore as rising numbers of couples are opting for separation these days. Out of 1,36,000 marriages solemnized in Delhi in 2009, 10,000 ended up in divorce courts. Like ‘every coin has two sides’, it is good that the couple does not have to suffer with each other forever if not compatible but such increasing figures are sure creating tensions and apprehensions.

The couples are forced to think twice before tying the knot as the sacred institution of marriage is seen crumbling.

Same Gotra Marriage : The Most Controversial Argument

Marriage in India is considered to be the most beautiful relationship one can ever have and this is why it is an elaborate affair that seeks blessings of hundreds of Gods and relatives. But, unfortunately this importance and sanctity attached to marriages has begun to come across as a false show. Every other day, one finds something or the other coming up against marriages- be it inter-caste or inter-religion or same sex or same gotra marriage.

After hundreds of ‘honor killings’ against inter-caste marriages, it is now the turn of same gotra marriages. Khaps and Panchayats of the villages are dead opposed to the concept of marrying within the gotra whereas urban India remains oblivion to the whole idea of the controversy. They seek to ban same gotra marriage and are demanding amendments in Hindu Marriage Act as they firmly believe that their ruling cannot be fettered even by the Constitution of India.

All the hype and controversy surrounding same gotra marriage is much ado about nothing. The recent spate of violence and khap-ordained ‘honour killings’ have become a cause for dismay in the minds of right thinking citizens. We dream of a society free of divisions of caste and creed but are constantly grappling with the might and power of the feudal mindset that perpetrates caste. Khaps have threatened to MPs and MLAs to take a decision and ban sagotra marriages- marriage between people belonging to same gotra.

At least I am not able to understand what the big deal about ‘gotra’ is. I am sure like me, many of us have no idea what gotra means and which one do we belong to. Loosely called sub-caste, my mind questions, wasn’t division on the basis of castes enough that this new element of sub-caste has been triggered to slice us further.

Marriages becoming more of a compromise

Marriage as a bond has always been cherished by couples. Married couples have always taken marriage as a life long bond and have from ages has been considered as a relation, which is meant to be forever. The forever bond of marriage has its longitivity due to the factors of love, care, trust and understanding. These elements are must to be instilled in the married life to sustain the bond of marriage and to make sure that the husband and wife lead a smooth and a happy married life. But, with the changing times and changing preferences of the people, marriage is no longer based on the factors of trust and care.

The emotions has no role to play in today’s world, what every body seeks for, at the end of the day is profit and growth. Love, sentiments, faith, all seems to be fading away with the people making more use of their brain rather than their hearts. And I would not be wrong in saying that marriages have become more of like a compromise than a bond based on mutual understanding. The couples should understand that if they feed their married life with the four basic elements of marriage, i.e. love, understanding, care and trust, then their married life would be more beautiful and worth living.

The couple needs to make sure that they share a good bonding between each other. The bond shared between them should not only be a show-off or an official tag to show the world that they are together, but their togetherness should actually because they need each other. Their married life should be a reflection of each others care and trust. Times are changing, our mindsets are changing but we should not allow the negative factors affect our mind and change the meaning of marriage and love in our lives.

Differences between parents can lead to disturbance in children’s life

Marriages these days have lost their meaning. No longer we get to see, marriage being practised as a life long bond, or as a relation where two souls become one after tying the knot of marriage. As discussed in my earlier blog marriage has more of become like a compromise, where the couple is nowhere in a situation to actually call their relation as a bond of love. An easy way to escape out of the marriage responsibilities and to disburden the pressure of marriage fights is divorce. Couples now a days, take marriage very lamely and even in case of small misunderstandings and fights opt for the route of divorce.

But have you ever thought how bad it can affect the future of your child, after you two get divorced. If I would have to some up the future of your child, then in mere terms, I would say that his life would be ruined. In fact, I am using a very small term, he will have no life, his personal, professional, all sectors of life will go hay way. The life is in no way would be a simple life, it would be life full of shackles, where the child would always be filled with questions in his mind, with restricted space to live and breathe freely.

Taking a chance in the form of giving birth to a baby, to give a new beginning to the married life or to start afresh is a very risky thing. This is very good, if the relation works out but a damn tough task to manage if the bride and the groom even after having a baby are not able to bring things on the right track. If the bride and the groom divorces each other, then the child becomes homeless and for the whole life swings in between the misunderstandings of his parents. Therefore, the couple should try and make things perfect, sorting out the differences between them, thereby paving a bright future for their child.

May 16, 2010 : The Day of Wedding Extravaganza

Marriage season was in resplendence on the auspicious day of Akshaya Tritiya on Sunday. If Mumbai witnessed the solemnization of 60,000 marriages, Delhi echoed wedding vows of around 20,000 couples. The tri-city of Chandigarh (including Panchkula, Chandigarh and Mohali) observed 200 marriages while Hubli in Karnataka saw at least 100 couples tying the blissful knot on one of the most favorable days in Hindu calendar.

All marriage halls, caterers, decorators, shamiyanas, photographers, priests, henna artists in these cities had their hands full after a lull of nearly six months. The day of Akshaya Tritiya is considered so fortunate that with almost a lakh couples getting married, there was a shortage of labourers and prices had shoot up 15 to 40% for various services. Wherever one turned, flower bedecked, brightly lit hotels and banquet halls with overflowing guests could be seen all around.

Huge wedding rush around the country could be seen with almost everyone invited to a wedding. Both government & private hotels & banquet halls were chock-a-block in Delhi and Mumbai with thousands of couple seeking blessings to start their new lives. The booking for this day had been done well in advance by most of the would-be couples to avoid any hassles later. Akshaya Tritiya is considered to be a lucky day to start a new business or to get married.

On trying to find the reason behind such popularity of the day, I found the legend associated with it. Akshaya Tritiya is traditionally celebrated as the birthday of the sixth avatar or incarnation of Lord Vishnu, the Hindu sage Parashurama. ‘Akshaya’ means the 'never diminishing' in Sanskrit and the day is widely believed to bring good luck and success in all new ventures undertaken. People across the country start new businesses, invest in gold and get married on this day.

Marriage Counseling a Must for Couples

Marriages in India are breaking up at an alarming rate and this is worrying everyone from parents to couples alike. The change in psyche on divorce has made it a casual affair as people are now seen flaunting their divorcee status.

Lifestyle problems, low tolerance levels, lack of communication, shortage of quality time, work frustration, etc. are some of the major problems that lead to breakup in a marriage. The trend is just the same in both arranged and love marriages as these problems can prevail between any two individuals living together.

An alarming 40 percent of the marriages, especially in metros are heading for breakups. This whopping figure makes it extremely important for couples to go through marriage counseling before tying the blissful knot. Though more number of couples have been coming forward to the idea of counseling, it is still not sufficient.

Marriage Counseling counsels the relationship of two people by putting in an effort to recognize and to manage better the possible troublesome differences between them. Couple therapy or marital therapy is based on core principles crucial to a marriage like respect, empathy, consent, accountability, trust, compatibility, love, care and others. Today’s intricate life of uncertainties and fluctuations make it difficult to remain stress-free and compromise with situations.

The tendency to overreact and restlessness is growing these days to lack of patience and fleeting speed of life. Everyone is looking for success and quick fun in a short period of time while the value and importance attached to relationships reduce continuously. In today’s world, one needs to take help from outside to maintain a relationship be it of any kind. But, we need to take out time from the hectic life; sit and relax and think about how we can keep our relationships steady and successful.

Riveting Observations on Marriage & Divorce

Marriages are the most celebrated occasions in the Indian customs. And it is the most painful when this sacred relationship breaks. But, there are some many interesting observations made in a research on the best and worst things in an individual’s life - Marriage and Divorce. They are:

-At least 70% of those involved in a divorce have a lover at the time of their breakups but hardly 15% of them get married to that lover.

-The possibility of break ups in second marriages is higher than in first marriage. As statistics show- 45% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages and 75% of third marriages break up.

The research also emphasizes on the fact that one must definitely grow in a marriage for it to be successful. If it is mere longevity that one celebrates, it is a dreadful disaster. It also questioned if couples really take their wedding vows seriously as when you experience love, it is valid forever.

The research also explained how people who tend to fall in and out of love feel disappointment and disillusionment by giving either of the three responses- pessimism, romanticism and realism.

-Pessimists feel that love is an illusion and protect themselves against further disappointment by avoiding any kind of intimacy.

-Romantics make it a habit to fall in love but run away when the going gets tough.

-Realists decide to stay away from the excesses of romance and settle down for practical and mature relationships.

As authored by world mythologist, Joseph Campbell, people don’t realize and understand what exactly marriage is. People fall in love and get married thinking it will make their love affair eternal without realizing what marriage brings with it- Transformation. One has to yield, give and submit to the partner not just dictate and take from him/ her.

Marriage Anniversary

Marriage anniversary is the day, when the bride and groom get to rejoice their day of marriage and the moments spent on the auspicious day. Though, I am not married, but I can surely say by seeing my parents that marriage is the most precious bond, one gets to tie in his life and that also for the lifetime. The bond which is made by God, but it is purely in the hands of the bride and the groom, that how well they sustain and maintain the elements of love and understanding in their relationship. Love, trust and understanding are the basic elements, which are needed to be instilled by both the bride and groom, in their married life; to make it more strong and long lived.

Marriage anniversary is a day, which is the proof of the strength of their married life, because if and only if the bride and the groom have been able to build the bond of trust between each other then only, their relation can be long lived. The more time in terms of years you tend to spend with your life partner, the better bond is said to be developed between both of you. Have you ever wondered why couples celebrate their 25th marriage anniversary, that too at such a large scale? This is because of the fact that they are not only proud of their long lived relation, but also they are so happy that they want to share this happiness with everyone around. Also, couples like these have set examples for the new generation, for whom, marriage is no longer a serious relation. They have been beaten by the bug of divorce, which gives them an easy way out, if they are not happy or satisfied with their married life. So it totally depends on you and your life partner as in how much understanding you share with your life partner, which would give fuel to your marriage journey and you will be able to celebrate more number of marriage anniversaries with your life partner!!

What’s more important: Religion or Love?

Cross Border Marriages, especially between Hindus and Muslims, have always been the hottest topic for debate in the world of marriage. Everyone seems to be dead opposed to the idea of a Hindu girl getting married to a Muslim boy or vice versa. Can this unrelenting opposition for Hindu Muslim weddings be attributed to Indo-Pak relations apart from the communal reasons?

When inter religion marriages within a country are met with such protest and raised eyebrows, how can the marriage between an Indian and a Pakistani go unnoticed even if they are from the same religion? Everyone has a problem from maulanas to political leaders to governments to citizens of respective countries. The latest example is the biggest tabloid story of the subcontinent that caused gargantuan frenzy among all- Sania Mirza and Shoaib Malik’s marriage.

The wedding of two sportspersons from India and Pakistan became the topic of utmost importance foe exactly the same reason. Ignoring the issues of terrorism and militancy causing deaths of hundreds of people everyday, the concern of international reporters suddenly shifted to the wedding of Sania and Shoaib. One could see everyone around censuring the unison of Shoainia (Shoaib and Sania) as if feelings mattered nothing in front of the geographical borders. Any two individuals in love with each other have all the rights in the world to get married irrespective of their belonging to different countries, religions, castes or communities.

In fact, according to a marriage portal, eligible bachelors and girls are now found willing to consider proposals from other countries. And why not! After all, the bond of marriage is dependent on love, commitment, compatibility & mutual trust and not geographical & social borders. Only if our society could understand this, the world would have been a better place to live and to get married.

16th May- the wedding day of the year 2010

Wedding is no doubt the most auspicious day in our life; it is the day, which marks a new beginning in the life of both the bride and the groom. There are many things related to the wedding, which are important, yet tough to decide. Most tedious task is to decide the date for the wedding, which in Indian marriages, is attached to a lot of sacredness and is decided, keeping in mind a number of factors, including the astrological reasons. The proof of the believe of Indians, in the sanctity of the marriage dates, can be seen, when one gets to witness thousands of marriages in a day. Same is going to happen on 16th may, when the country will observe thousands of singles making life time commitments to their life partners. 16th may, this year is going to be celebrated as Akshaya Tritiya, one of the most sacred days of the year. The day is considered to be the most auspicious day for new beginnings, so people usually organise weddings, new business openings, or other new projects on this day. This day also relates to good luck, happiness and success, so people tend to earn punya, by performing good deeds on this sacred day.

Exactly 16th may is the date, when huge chunk of the bachelors of the state, will turn into couples, and head towards the responsibility of being married. This is also because, 16th may, is a Sunday, and the second day, of the sacred dates for the marriage, which will start from may 15th. Indian marriages hold a lot of importance in terms of the mahurat for the marriage, the day and time. In fact, you might have also got to marry early or late due to the unavailability of the apt mahurat for the marriage day and time.

So, there will be a lot of lighting and celebration, all over the city on 16th may, witnessing the highest number of marriages. The venues and the marriage halls have already been booked. So, if you are planning for some party on this date, then its better to postponed, because not only the marriage venues but the roads of Delhi will also be jam packed!

Is the longitivity of the marriage as a relation at stake??

Marriage has always been considered as the most sacred, longest and the strongest bond shared between a human being and with his partner in his life time. According to our culture, i.e. in Indian marriages, it is a bond for seven lives, a never ending relation, which is shared between the bride and the groom. In fact, the ritual of fasting called karwachauth, a whole day fast, is kept by the Indian wives for the long life and never- ending relation with their husband. India has always been the best example, which has sustained the true meaning of marriage, and where the sacredness of marriage is respected and taken care of.

But, as the days are passing and people adopting more of western views and culture, the longevity and the strength of marriage as a bond shared between the husband and wife is at stake. It is fine; we should adopt the positive points of the other culture and use them to improvise our society and thinking. No doubt, the liberal thinking of the western culture has lead to great reformatory and positive measures in the Indian society, but it has somehow, very badly affected the strength of the marriage as a bond. Earlier, there were hardly any divorces seen in the Indian society, but now, fights, misunderstanding, and divorce has become a fashion these days. The ratio of the divorced brides and grooms has shoot up to a great extent suddenly, which is mainly because of the short tempered and the impatient behaviour adopted by the younger generation these days.

These days, people are more concerned about the ‘me’ factor, rather than ‘our’ and ‘we’, the feeling of togetherness and sacrifice has been replaced by the competitive feelings of intolerance and need for more money, name and fame. Each one of them, whether it’s the bride or the groom, no one is ready to bow their heads in front of their partner. The factor of selfishness and self- contentment overpowers the feeling of togetherness and love these days, which results to the parting off of a husband and wife. All such thinking and mentality, is leading us to a stage, where the longitivity of marriage as an undying bond is surely at stake. Therefore bride and groom need to make major changes in their attitude towards marriage and should try and make each possible effort to understand each other, before parting from each other and should help in maintaining the holiness of the marriage as an eternal bond.

Is a groom as gharjamai acceptable??

Is the culture of gharjamai fading these days, are Indians becoming more stigmatic about accepting their son- in – laws as house husbands, or its becoming a prestige issue for the Indian brides to have house husbands. This suddenly came to my mind, when one of my friends mentioned his wish of becoming gharjamai after marriage, the desire, which made all of go in great shock. Though he was kidding, but it made my mind to discuss this issue with you all, I mean how a guy in today’s time could want to spend his life over the support of his in- laws. The age, when everyone is the ruler of his life, why would someone want to lead his life, according to others wishes.

This is surely a topic, which highly depends on the thinking, the family background and the future plans of a person. A practise of house- husbands, or gharjamai, was followed in the earlier times, in rich and royal families, where the family used to have their girl as the only child and they did not have any successor to carry their name forward. In such cases, they used to request their son- in- law, to come and live in their house and work for their family business. But now- a- days, it has become a prestige issue for the groom to go and live in the house of the bride. Though, this practise is still prevalent in the some of the villages of the country.

In fact, many Indian grooms these days, out of generosity, offer a helping hand to the bride’s family, if her mother or father is a widower, and the bride is their only daughter. This is also because of the brides contributing equally towards earning the living for the family. So, I think it’s not totally bad for the groom to go and live with his in- laws family, till the time, he is also making equal efforts to run the house and make each person live happily. Otherwise, being totally dependent on the bride’s family, is surely unacceptable, and should not even be promoted by the bride and her family, because in any case, the groom has to realise his responsibilities towards his own kin and family.

Peeping into the mind of the bride

No doubt, wedding day is the most amazing day in the lives of both bride and groom. But, for bride, it is the day filled with loads of emotions. I think a bride, goes through tons of emotions throughout the day, the major ones being the sadness and happiness. Tears seem to be like the best friends, they accompany not only bride, but even her family members all day during the marriage ceremonies. Even the rare moments, called the tears of happiness can also be witnessed during this occasion. Shades of the happy, sad, nervous, anxious, chilled, cool, surprise moments are experienced by the bride in a single day.

One of my friend, who got married recently, told me, that the day of the marriage seems like a long day, its not at all like a usual day, it seems like you live so many days and relations in that one day. Actually you get to know the meaning and sanctity of all relations on the day of your marriage. Actually I too believe that, the moments, when the maternal uncle, mother, father, grandparents, perform different rituals with the bride are speechless, they are times, which are priceless and a girl only, when in the form of a bride, gets to earn and practice those moments.

Each mantra or spiritual rhyme recited by the priest, takes the bride away from her parents and maternal family, leading her life towards new beginning with new family and new relatives. The most emotional and touching moment in the marriage, is when the girl leaves her maternal house and heads towards her new house with her husband. Though, the happiness and the majesticity of the feeling of a new life, full of happiness and joys is beyond description, but anyhow the feeling of leaving your family behind, and that this house will no longer be yours, certainly overpowers the happiness and makes you as a bride so feeble and full of tears. All these emotions are very personal and close to the heart of the bride, so the groom should always try and understand these emotions which a bride goes through at the time of their wedding, and should always support her, in starting a new life, filled with all the smiles and happy moments.

Marriages Should be based on Love Not Caste or Religion

Indian culture is very diverse and houses various castes, communities and religions. It is always preferred in Indian marriages that the couple belongs not only to the same religion but to the same caste and community as well.

The Indian society even after evolving for years has not been able to get rid of caste system especially in wedding affairs. Till today, young couples who belong to different castes and religions find it very difficult to marry each other due to the protests from their families. Inter caste marriages are apparently seen as a blemish for the family and both the girl and the boy are treated as rebels. It is highly questionable how a couple can be united on the basis of their religion and not emotions.

Inter-religious marriages are not very frequent in our country even though it proudly boasts of hundreds of castes and religions. With education and exposure to other cultures of the world, the concept of inter caste marriages is slowly being accepted by people at least in the urban cities.

It is quite amazing to see a country flaunting its variegated cultural outlook but not accepting marriage of two individuals from different religions. One should lay importance to the emotions of the couple and not focus on their religious backgrounds. They are just two beings who wish to spend their lives together irrespective of the caste and religion. Our society needs to realize that a successful marriage is not dependent on these factors but on the aspects of mutual understanding and compatibility.

Inter caste and inter religion marriages in India serve as a beacon light for social equality. It is crucial to break the perils of caste-system as marriage is only dependent on true love and feelings while caste and religion are all secondary issues.

Marriages : Made in Heaven, Celebrated on Earth

Everyone believes in existence of a superpower above us and some name it as GOD. God has made a soul mate for everybody and brings them together through the eternal bond called marriage. These marriages are celebrated luxuriously and elaborately on earth, especially in Indian customs.

Marriages lead to physical, mental and spiritual unison of a couple. A successful marriage demands love, understanding, mutual respect, trust, commitment and togetherness of a couple. Marriage is considered to be a very sacred relation that unites two individuals from different walks of life. The relationship of a man and woman is incomparable to any other relation that they share throughout their lives.

Marriages are, definitely, made in heaven else how do you think that two people with different upbringing and different opinions are bonded together. What is the force that unites only those two people as a couple and not with some one else. Most of us believe that it is destiny that makes you meet all the people in your life and so is the same with life partners. Destiny is written by God or at least directed by that superpower that operates above all of us.

He decides in advance whom to bring together to be tied in the bond of lifelong commitment and unison. And then, this matrimony is arranged and solemnized with pomp and grandeur to let the world meet your better half. In fact, this is why, marriages in India are performed royally and people spend most of their savings on the wedding. Such grand weddings are dream-like where the bride and the groom are the only center of attraction for all the guests and relatives.

Every girl, even today after such modernization, dreams of getting married in a fairy tale kind of a way. And then, why not, this is the most memorable moment in a person’s life.

Giving space to your life partner

The tag- handle with care does not only go with the delicate items made of glass and crystal, but these days, the tag is most suitable with the relationship shared between husband and wife. I hope that you will agree with me on the fact that relationship shared between married couples, though is very strong in terms of understanding and bonding, but at the same time is very subtle and emotional. You have to be very careful with the measures to make your relationship long-lasting and trustworthy. Marriage is the bond, which has dual nature, at times it is the strongest and sometimes it seems to be the weakest.

Well its weak or strong depends on the couple itself, they need to make sure that the strength of their relation is stable enough, that no one is able to create misunderstandings in their relationship. The steps have to be taken by both the husband and wife to ensure the longitivity of their love and bond shared. These days, being independent and self driven are the motives of every individual, whether its bride or groom, everyone wants to maintain their individuality and seek personal comfort and space in their lives. A common phenomenon, which is seen these days, is that either the husband or the wife has this habit of digging in too much in the lives of their partners. They need to understand the significance of the element of individuality and space required in each others life.

Peeping into the lives of others, after an extent becomes a headache for the person. Its fine to believe that they are your life partner and you have the right to know all the important happenings in their life, but this does not allows you to sit on his head every second. Everybody needs his space to live, and this is your duty as his partner to provide him that space and let him live the way he wants. This ways, the relation goes very smooth and a very healthy understanding and bonding is seen in such couples, who possess this attitude of taking things coolly and allowing your partner his space, where he can live his own life according to his wishes, obviously remaining in his limits.

Before Getting Married…

Wedding marks the beginning of a new life as the couple is tied in the bond of love forever. The meaning of marriage, today, is not complete without the mention of practicality though emotions continue to hold a significant place. It is very important that before making this lifetime commitment called marriage, one is 100% sure about seeing the match as future wife or husband.

Practicality, for modern generation, is as important as emotions and feelings. That means one should be completely aware of the financial position, religious beliefs, career comfort, personal space and family plan of his/ her would-be spouse before the wedding. One should not get married only because their parents or relatives believe it to be a good match. The concept of ‘arranged marriage’ has also modified with changing times as a couple doesn’t decide to tie the knot until they are comfortable with each other.

And then, how can one marry only because somebody has told them to? One needs to get into the depth of his/ her would-be partner’s life and know them and their lifestyle better. This is why the period of courtship is considered to be the most crucial and delicate times of a person’s life. Courtship is a phase where the prospective couple gets to know if they really are made for each other. They get to know more about the future spouse’s likes/ dislikes, lifestyle, behavior, general beliefs etc.

According to Indian beliefs, ‘Marriages are made in heaven’ and this bond does not last for only one but for seven lives. So, one should be prudent before pursuing this heavenly bond. Try to know if the potential partner is romantic, what religious beliefs are followed, how financially stable are they, when do they plan to begin the family, will they support the career moves, will there be some personal space in the relation and other such things. This shall help in making the right choice!

Sherlock Holmes Gets a New Task- Parents Skeptical About Prospective Matches Hire Detectives

The importance of marriages in India has been growing and gaining popularity in abroad as well. Marriage is a lifelong commitment between two individuals and is considered to be the most sacred relation in Hindu mythology.

The concept of marriage, now days, is facing an encounter with modernization. Television and Online Matrimonials are enough testimony to the evolving ways of getting married. They may facilitate or ease the process of finding the right match but also bring with them insecurities and uncertainties. Both parents and the individuals are always found concerned about the behavioral and characteristic traits of the potential match, guy or girl.

Since, one can never be sure of the habits and character of a person based on information from limited sources like relatives, neighbors, etc., why not hire a private detective? Yes, this is exactly what the Indian parents have been doing to make sure that the prospective son-in law or daughter-in-law is the perfect choice. In order to put the seal of surety and to confirm that they are not risking their child’s life by marrying him/ her off to that particular person, parents are hiring detectives.

The fact that matrimonial websites have comforted the process of finding good partners has been unanimously agreed to by parents. But, concerns have risen due to physical distance and absence of connection, thereby, encouraging them to hire services from an agency that can verify credentials of the match. While voicing their concerns, parents added that if they could spend lakhs of rupees on the wedding celebration, can’t they shell out a mere 1% to ensure lifelong happiness of their children.

The job of these detectives is to report about the prospective partner’s lifestyle, friend group, habits, etc. Investigation agencies agree to the spurt in their business as parents are increasingly hiring their services.

Changing your name after marriage

Marriage is the most important decision of our life. It is the decision, which not only changes the whole lifestyle of a human being, but it also leads to the change in identity of a bride. There are hardly any changes, which a guy goes through after marriage, other than the responsibilities, he takes of his family. But, if we talk about the bride, there are loads of changes and modifications that a bride has to adopt to lead a hassle-free life. The first and the foremost step towards change is shifting of her home, from her maternal house to the house of her in- laws, which is still ok, but the next thing, which any girl is most resistant to is the change of her name.

The change in the surname, is a common practise, which has been followed since ages in Indian marriages, but with the changing times and the girls becoming more independent and adopting modern ways to lead her life, she is not ready to accept the change in her name. According to the girls these days, how can they change their identity or the name, with which they have lived for so many years? And plus adding the whole name of your husband to yours becomes too lengthy and difficult to pronounce. In fact some girls these days, are too conscious that they just don’t change their name at all, not even their surname. Some brides add their in- law’s surname at the end of their original full name to mark their alliance with the new family, which I think is the best way.

These things are very debatable and have even lead to some family disputes, but at the end it depends on the mutual understanding of the bride and the groom. The mental set- up and the thinking of the groom and his family plays a very important role here, because if the family is very strict and blindly follows all the old rituals and customs, then the bride in any case would have to bear the full additional changes to her name, but if the groom or the family understand her emotions, then they would surely support in keeping her original name as it is with an add-on of their family name, forever. And if you are among few of the latter cases, then I must say, are the blessed one, because in such a modern society even, you would find very less families, who understands the attachment and the emotions that a bride has for her name and family.

Wedding card - the official announcement of the marriage

Marriages are definitely the most exciting moment in our life, its not only you who is happy for the marriage ceremony, but the family as a whole takes part in its preparations and rituals. The first and the most important step towards the announcement of the wedding alliance is the wedding card. The invitation card for the marriage is what, which declares the togetherness of the couple, with their names written on the card, next to each others. I hope you will agree with me on the fact that, a prospective groom or bride feels very different and relaxed after seeing their names written together on the wedding card. The announcement makes their relation official and from then the countdown for the wedding starts.

In most of the Indian weddings, as far as I have observed, the first wedding card is presented in front of the lord or the religious god of the family, to seek his blessings for a successful wedding life. Invitation of the wedding needs to be sent to all the family members and friends. With our couples adopting the modern methods, invitation cards, these days, are also sent via emails. In most of the cases, these wedding cards are the scanned copies of the original invitation, but many perspective brides and grooms are also seen designing cards for their marriage themselves.

Designing your wedding card, has its own charm, all the dreams and designs you have always thought of, you can implement that to your card. A lot of innovation and creativity is required for the same, and the card should be a result of the prior discussion with your partner. Disseminating self- made cards among your friends makes you feel proud and contended at the same time. In fact, some couples, even design the print format of the wedding card, which goes to all the relatives and friends. This not only saves the money of the designing part, but also the happiness and the jolliness felt inside is something which cannot be expressed in words.

Marriage makes a person responsible

There are various stages to which one gets encountered during his life time. Other than the phases of being a child, teen, young, mid-age and then old, we classify our life, generally on the basis of life before marriage and after marriage. A person is said to undergo various changes during these two phases. A lot of difference in terms of lifestyle and change in habits is observed with the transformation of a person from the tag of unmarried to married. Not only the status of a person changes from single to married, but a sense of responsibility is also felt by the married couple.

We generally say the man or the guy has to be responsible because he has to withhold the responsibility of a family; he is the one who needs to take care of the financial as well as the emotional status of the family members. But if we see today’s scenario, its not only the husband who is entitled with the family responsibilities, equal contribution is made by the wife also, whether its in term of finances or other home responsibilities. Both of them are aware of the fact that, a balance needs to be maintained between the demands and their accomplishments.

In the young stage, we are never made to work or felt accountable for the factors which help in running a smooth and healthy family life. But as we grow, we ought to realise our functions and role in the family. But marriage is a stage, when one gets to realise and implement his assigned roles and responsibilities. Wed- lock is the ultimate relation shared in a man’s life, where he gets to learn various new things as well as makes his partner mould according to his requirements, it a relation of give and take, the basis of which is love and understanding. It actually makes a person more thoughtful, strong, understanding, patient, co-operative, and much more to keep the wheels of the family rolling in the right direction.

Marriage: A Commercial Business?

Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman who make a promise to be together for lifetime. This is why such long pujas and ceremonies are performed to strengthen the matrimony.

But, it seems this lifetime bond called marriage has also come under the knife of glamour. Television industry has decided to take a big leap by conducting swayamvars on national TV, the new in-thing, catching everyone’s attention. Coming up with multitude of ‘reality shows’ on TV related to everything one can think of, from performing tasks to talent hunts to blind dating to raising kids to weight losing to speaking truth to loyalty tests …they have done it all. It is now the turn of finding prospective grooms and brides for the celebrities on Indian television.

Amidst the shutterbugs, Rakhi Sawant followed by Rahul Mahajan were found looking for right life partners. These were supposedly the reality shows where based on the skills of the prospective matches, they would choose their better halves. Each contestant gets to ‘hobnob’ with the celebrity seeking partner but instead of being a tête-à-tête as it should be, it has become a matter of national show. By now, we all are aware of the realism in the reality based shows; to me, they are a mere gimmick to attract audience, thus the TRPs, by generating sensationalism.

Marriage, too, has clearly become commercialized. Television broadcasts are made for Indian audience to gaze at the very private and exclusive meetings between the prospective couple. Is it really alright to objectify men and women in such a manner? Is there no way of stopping such commercializing of relations? We always say it’s their business and when they don’t mind, why should we. But, is shrugging off to everything happening around really the right way of dealing with them?

Significance of Mangalsutra in Indian Culture

Marriages in India are enriched with most colorful, charming and fun-filled ceremonies and rituals. One of the immensely important rituals in Indian weddings is of tying mangalsutra, the symbol of wedlock. The meaning of Mangalsutra denotes an auspicious thread or cord that unites both man and woman in a sacred bond of marriage. It defines the status of Indian women as being married and is a remarkably important ornament for a married woman. In Hindu culture, mangalsutra, kumkum, bangles, toe rings and nose ring complete the dressing up of a married woman.

Mangalsutra is a necklace with two strings or black and gold beads attached with a (gold or diamond) pendant. Its shape and size varies according to the cultural and regional beliefs followed by people. This emblem of marital dignity and chastity, worn by women is believed to possess divine powers. It implies protection of marriage and of husband’s life from evil powers, being the essence of married Indian women.

Like everything else, the modern generation of Indian girls has added glamour even to the concept of wearing managalsutra. It has become more of a fashion statement than a mere traditional adorner carrying heavy cultural beliefs. Girls are now ready to experiment with exclusive managalsutra designs and pendants.

On the other hand, the trend of donning managalsutra is vanishing with modernization affecting the mindsets of traditional wives. They are fast transforming into working women with a professional approach towards career who do not mind, not wearing this signifier of marriage. Women in India are increasingly breaking old customs and beliefs to come out of the shackles that restrict their personalities.

I agree that wearing mangalsutra is important for married women but professionalism is also crucial. One can wear it on special occasions, festivals and family get-togethers and may not in business meetings.

More on Courtship Period: Do’s and Don’ts

The courtship period is the time to decide about your marriage with the chosen partner. This is the only time where you can create or leave impressions of your partner on yourself and of yours on your partner. When a couple is gently uncovering the layers of each other’s personality, they should be a little careful. Read on to know more and follow the tips to have a successful courtship:

Open Mind and Unbiased opinions

Initiate your courtship period with a clear open mind. Avoid forming a biased or prejudiced view of your partner. You will surely be welcomed with many pleasant surprises while getting to know your partner better at the same time.

Spend quality time together

Take out enough quality time for each other. Spending time together would help you in exploring your partner’s temperament, behavior, interests, etc. directly or indirectly. Asking too many questions can become a little boring and even uncomfortable at times, so, try observing each other. You may observe his/ her behavior while driving on a busy road, while placing order at a crowded restaurant, while shopping in a busy market or while talking about general issues.

Don’t be on a fault finding spree

If your focus is on trying to see the negatives of the other person, you will obviously find uncountable. Remember two things: ‘Nobody is perfect’ and ‘Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder’. A couple has to always accept each other as they are to make the relationship work successfully. Two people with differences in their personalities can still make a happy great couple.

But, do make sure, it is not an investigation period instead the most cherished one. Keep it beautiful and enjoy it fully. Take a wise decision and have a happy life!

Fun at friend’s marriage

Marriage of any body in or around the family is a very fun and joyous moment for all, it’s like a lottery, you get to get shop new clothes, jewellery, accessories, and many more things. But the most majestic moments are those, which you spend in your friend’s marriage, those are the days to be engraved in the dairies of beautiful memories, that too if the marriage is of your best friend from the school days. It is said, school friends are everlasting, they are the only ones who can bear you in all your swinging moods, with all those highs and lows in your voice, and the relation is such the more you fight, the more you come closer.

Well, I was talking about the superb experience one has, while attending the wedding ceremonies of your best friend. The excitement starts from the announcement day itself, suddenly you start getting the feel of being responsible and all those butterflies start pinching your stomach, it feels like just few days before we were too small to play with swings and now our best friend is getting married. I know, you must be thinking, the butterfly part is for the friend, but still there is some nervousness and jumpiness felt by us also. The shopping days are the days to remember, going to hundreds of shops, buying ‘n’ number of gifts, all those special treatments shown by the shop owners, when you shop in bulk is quite demanding.

The best part is, you get to spend quality time with all your school friends, it’s like a reunion, recreating all those fun moments, doing masti, dancing, singing, its awesome, larger the number of friends, more the amount of fun. With the passing days, along with the happiness and thrill, a feeing of jealousy starts building up, as your friend gets more concerned about her fiancée and is obviously required to spend more time with him. This is what I experienced, when my best friend got married, I hope you all must be having some wonderful moments to share, will wait for your replies.

Celebrate each day as women’s day !

Women is the basis of every relation, it is because of her we exit. Women is the reason for our smile and the route to happiness, she is the sole reason which completes our life. I am not saying this, because I am a girl, its because I love and have eternally realized the importance and need of the god mother in my life, i.e. my mom she is one person, who is the reason of my smile, she is the reason why I live, and I hope, you must also be having some such reason to live, and that too a womanly connection, be it your sister, mother, wife or friend.

These people have made our lives special and worth living, it feels so stupid and awkward, when we choose a day for wishing them, in fact according to me, if I surrender my whole for my mom, even that would be less, forget about one day, its not even equal to one sacrificing deed she does for me, that is the reason why I am writing this blog, a day after the women’s day, to do a starting towards celebrating each day as a woman’s day . I feel we should try and make each day special and worth living for these women, who have helped in defining our lives in such a beautiful manner.

Just imagine, a girl leaves her house after marriage and suddenly holds on all the responsibilities of a woman, to successfully run a happy family. It must be so tough for them to manage and adjust in the environments, which are too new and unknown to her, but still she puts her best efforts to keep all the members of her family happy, I think salutations and appreciations should be made to all these women on a daily basis, may be by giving a chocolate or small activities, to motivate them for keep showering her love on us…coz at the end of the day, everyone needs motivation and reward! I gifted my mom today with a sweet packed for her lunch, what did you do?

The Beauty of Courtship Period

The period of Courtship is one of the most beautiful times of a relationship. The moments spent together in this period are always among the most memorable ones. When a couple decides to spend their lives together and choose each other as life partners, the announcement of marriage is made. This announcement is followed by the approval of society in form of a ceremony, roka or maybe engagement in some cases.

Courtship is actually the time period before marriage and after the roka (or engagement) ceremony. It is ideally the phase where the couple gets to know and understand each other better. This phase is very delicate and crucial as the couple hasn’t tied the knot yet and is still considering to be wedded to each other. Courtship is a very important experience in an individual’s life as innocence and curiosity prevails in the relation. It is a beautiful blend of both cuteness and seriousness as both the partners put their best foot forward and show themselves in the best light possible. It is full of sweet, rosy times coupled with the most essential element of decisiveness. One has to be sure that he/she wishes to wed the partner and wants to see him/ her standing beside at all times.

The courtship times usually see a great bonding and good friendship developing between the couple. Since, they are still in the phase of knowing each other, they look forward to meeting again and becoming familiar to the likes, dislikes, interests, values and behavior of their future partner. It is kind of ‘permissible dating’ where both the boy and the girl see each other with the permission and knowledge of their parents. They try to slowly unleash their personalities to know if they are made for that lifelong companionship called ‘marriage’.