Marriage is the most important decision of our life. It is the decision, which not only changes the whole lifestyle of a human being, but it also leads to the change in identity of a bride. There are hardly any changes, which a guy goes through after marriage, other than the responsibilities, he takes of his family. But, if we talk about the bride, there are loads of changes and modifications that a bride has to adopt to lead a hassle-free life. The first and the foremost step towards change is shifting of her home, from her maternal house to the house of her in- laws, which is still ok, but the next thing, which any girl is most resistant to is the change of her name.
The change in the surname, is a common practise, which has been followed since ages in Indian marriages, but with the changing times and the girls becoming more independent and adopting modern ways to lead her life, she is not ready to accept the change in her name. According to the girls these days, how can they change their identity or the name, with which they have lived for so many years? And plus adding the whole name of your husband to yours becomes too lengthy and difficult to pronounce. In fact some girls these days, are too conscious that they just don’t change their name at all, not even their surname. Some brides add their in- law’s surname at the end of their original full name to mark their alliance with the new family, which I think is the best way.
These things are very debatable and have even lead to some family disputes, but at the end it depends on the mutual understanding of the bride and the groom. The mental set- up and the thinking of the groom and his family plays a very important role here, because if the family is very strict and blindly follows all the old rituals and customs, then the bride in any case would have to bear the full additional changes to her name, but if the groom or the family understand her emotions, then they would surely support in keeping her original name as it is with an add-on of their family name, forever. And if you are among few of the latter cases, then I must say, are the blessed one, because in such a modern society even, you would find very less families, who understands the attachment and the emotions that a bride has for her name and family.
Well I agree to Gurleen to some extent. Well Gurleen it depends on family to family what their thoughts are about the name change. I would only like to say one thing that since this has been a practice in the soceity let it be left to the individual couple to decide on whether they would like to go with the name change or NO. Very recently it has also been observed that the bride uses both the names after marriage like Mallaika Arora Khan.. so i guess this is also a good way of showing respect to one's native family name and the new family.
ReplyDeleteBut most importantly name really should not matter since what is more important is the relation between the couple rather than the name conflict.