May 16, 2010 : The Day of Wedding Extravaganza

Marriage season was in resplendence on the auspicious day of Akshaya Tritiya on Sunday. If Mumbai witnessed the solemnization of 60,000 marriages, Delhi echoed wedding vows of around 20,000 couples. The tri-city of Chandigarh (including Panchkula, Chandigarh and Mohali) observed 200 marriages while Hubli in Karnataka saw at least 100 couples tying the blissful knot on one of the most favorable days in Hindu calendar.

All marriage halls, caterers, decorators, shamiyanas, photographers, priests, henna artists in these cities had their hands full after a lull of nearly six months. The day of Akshaya Tritiya is considered so fortunate that with almost a lakh couples getting married, there was a shortage of labourers and prices had shoot up 15 to 40% for various services. Wherever one turned, flower bedecked, brightly lit hotels and banquet halls with overflowing guests could be seen all around.

Huge wedding rush around the country could be seen with almost everyone invited to a wedding. Both government & private hotels & banquet halls were chock-a-block in Delhi and Mumbai with thousands of couple seeking blessings to start their new lives. The booking for this day had been done well in advance by most of the would-be couples to avoid any hassles later. Akshaya Tritiya is considered to be a lucky day to start a new business or to get married.

On trying to find the reason behind such popularity of the day, I found the legend associated with it. Akshaya Tritiya is traditionally celebrated as the birthday of the sixth avatar or incarnation of Lord Vishnu, the Hindu sage Parashurama. ‘Akshaya’ means the 'never diminishing' in Sanskrit and the day is widely believed to bring good luck and success in all new ventures undertaken. People across the country start new businesses, invest in gold and get married on this day.

Marriage Counseling a Must for Couples

Marriages in India are breaking up at an alarming rate and this is worrying everyone from parents to couples alike. The change in psyche on divorce has made it a casual affair as people are now seen flaunting their divorcee status.

Lifestyle problems, low tolerance levels, lack of communication, shortage of quality time, work frustration, etc. are some of the major problems that lead to breakup in a marriage. The trend is just the same in both arranged and love marriages as these problems can prevail between any two individuals living together.

An alarming 40 percent of the marriages, especially in metros are heading for breakups. This whopping figure makes it extremely important for couples to go through marriage counseling before tying the blissful knot. Though more number of couples have been coming forward to the idea of counseling, it is still not sufficient.

Marriage Counseling counsels the relationship of two people by putting in an effort to recognize and to manage better the possible troublesome differences between them. Couple therapy or marital therapy is based on core principles crucial to a marriage like respect, empathy, consent, accountability, trust, compatibility, love, care and others. Today’s intricate life of uncertainties and fluctuations make it difficult to remain stress-free and compromise with situations.

The tendency to overreact and restlessness is growing these days to lack of patience and fleeting speed of life. Everyone is looking for success and quick fun in a short period of time while the value and importance attached to relationships reduce continuously. In today’s world, one needs to take help from outside to maintain a relationship be it of any kind. But, we need to take out time from the hectic life; sit and relax and think about how we can keep our relationships steady and successful.

Riveting Observations on Marriage & Divorce

Marriages are the most celebrated occasions in the Indian customs. And it is the most painful when this sacred relationship breaks. But, there are some many interesting observations made in a research on the best and worst things in an individual’s life - Marriage and Divorce. They are:

-At least 70% of those involved in a divorce have a lover at the time of their breakups but hardly 15% of them get married to that lover.

-The possibility of break ups in second marriages is higher than in first marriage. As statistics show- 45% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages and 75% of third marriages break up.

The research also emphasizes on the fact that one must definitely grow in a marriage for it to be successful. If it is mere longevity that one celebrates, it is a dreadful disaster. It also questioned if couples really take their wedding vows seriously as when you experience love, it is valid forever.

The research also explained how people who tend to fall in and out of love feel disappointment and disillusionment by giving either of the three responses- pessimism, romanticism and realism.

-Pessimists feel that love is an illusion and protect themselves against further disappointment by avoiding any kind of intimacy.

-Romantics make it a habit to fall in love but run away when the going gets tough.

-Realists decide to stay away from the excesses of romance and settle down for practical and mature relationships.

As authored by world mythologist, Joseph Campbell, people don’t realize and understand what exactly marriage is. People fall in love and get married thinking it will make their love affair eternal without realizing what marriage brings with it- Transformation. One has to yield, give and submit to the partner not just dictate and take from him/ her.

Marriage Anniversary

Marriage anniversary is the day, when the bride and groom get to rejoice their day of marriage and the moments spent on the auspicious day. Though, I am not married, but I can surely say by seeing my parents that marriage is the most precious bond, one gets to tie in his life and that also for the lifetime. The bond which is made by God, but it is purely in the hands of the bride and the groom, that how well they sustain and maintain the elements of love and understanding in their relationship. Love, trust and understanding are the basic elements, which are needed to be instilled by both the bride and groom, in their married life; to make it more strong and long lived.

Marriage anniversary is a day, which is the proof of the strength of their married life, because if and only if the bride and the groom have been able to build the bond of trust between each other then only, their relation can be long lived. The more time in terms of years you tend to spend with your life partner, the better bond is said to be developed between both of you. Have you ever wondered why couples celebrate their 25th marriage anniversary, that too at such a large scale? This is because of the fact that they are not only proud of their long lived relation, but also they are so happy that they want to share this happiness with everyone around. Also, couples like these have set examples for the new generation, for whom, marriage is no longer a serious relation. They have been beaten by the bug of divorce, which gives them an easy way out, if they are not happy or satisfied with their married life. So it totally depends on you and your life partner as in how much understanding you share with your life partner, which would give fuel to your marriage journey and you will be able to celebrate more number of marriage anniversaries with your life partner!!

What’s more important: Religion or Love?

Cross Border Marriages, especially between Hindus and Muslims, have always been the hottest topic for debate in the world of marriage. Everyone seems to be dead opposed to the idea of a Hindu girl getting married to a Muslim boy or vice versa. Can this unrelenting opposition for Hindu Muslim weddings be attributed to Indo-Pak relations apart from the communal reasons?

When inter religion marriages within a country are met with such protest and raised eyebrows, how can the marriage between an Indian and a Pakistani go unnoticed even if they are from the same religion? Everyone has a problem from maulanas to political leaders to governments to citizens of respective countries. The latest example is the biggest tabloid story of the subcontinent that caused gargantuan frenzy among all- Sania Mirza and Shoaib Malik’s marriage.

The wedding of two sportspersons from India and Pakistan became the topic of utmost importance foe exactly the same reason. Ignoring the issues of terrorism and militancy causing deaths of hundreds of people everyday, the concern of international reporters suddenly shifted to the wedding of Sania and Shoaib. One could see everyone around censuring the unison of Shoainia (Shoaib and Sania) as if feelings mattered nothing in front of the geographical borders. Any two individuals in love with each other have all the rights in the world to get married irrespective of their belonging to different countries, religions, castes or communities.

In fact, according to a marriage portal, eligible bachelors and girls are now found willing to consider proposals from other countries. And why not! After all, the bond of marriage is dependent on love, commitment, compatibility & mutual trust and not geographical & social borders. Only if our society could understand this, the world would have been a better place to live and to get married.

16th May- the wedding day of the year 2010

Wedding is no doubt the most auspicious day in our life; it is the day, which marks a new beginning in the life of both the bride and the groom. There are many things related to the wedding, which are important, yet tough to decide. Most tedious task is to decide the date for the wedding, which in Indian marriages, is attached to a lot of sacredness and is decided, keeping in mind a number of factors, including the astrological reasons. The proof of the believe of Indians, in the sanctity of the marriage dates, can be seen, when one gets to witness thousands of marriages in a day. Same is going to happen on 16th may, when the country will observe thousands of singles making life time commitments to their life partners. 16th may, this year is going to be celebrated as Akshaya Tritiya, one of the most sacred days of the year. The day is considered to be the most auspicious day for new beginnings, so people usually organise weddings, new business openings, or other new projects on this day. This day also relates to good luck, happiness and success, so people tend to earn punya, by performing good deeds on this sacred day.

Exactly 16th may is the date, when huge chunk of the bachelors of the state, will turn into couples, and head towards the responsibility of being married. This is also because, 16th may, is a Sunday, and the second day, of the sacred dates for the marriage, which will start from may 15th. Indian marriages hold a lot of importance in terms of the mahurat for the marriage, the day and time. In fact, you might have also got to marry early or late due to the unavailability of the apt mahurat for the marriage day and time.

So, there will be a lot of lighting and celebration, all over the city on 16th may, witnessing the highest number of marriages. The venues and the marriage halls have already been booked. So, if you are planning for some party on this date, then its better to postponed, because not only the marriage venues but the roads of Delhi will also be jam packed!