Is the longitivity of the marriage as a relation at stake??

Marriage has always been considered as the most sacred, longest and the strongest bond shared between a human being and with his partner in his life time. According to our culture, i.e. in Indian marriages, it is a bond for seven lives, a never ending relation, which is shared between the bride and the groom. In fact, the ritual of fasting called karwachauth, a whole day fast, is kept by the Indian wives for the long life and never- ending relation with their husband. India has always been the best example, which has sustained the true meaning of marriage, and where the sacredness of marriage is respected and taken care of.

But, as the days are passing and people adopting more of western views and culture, the longevity and the strength of marriage as a bond shared between the husband and wife is at stake. It is fine; we should adopt the positive points of the other culture and use them to improvise our society and thinking. No doubt, the liberal thinking of the western culture has lead to great reformatory and positive measures in the Indian society, but it has somehow, very badly affected the strength of the marriage as a bond. Earlier, there were hardly any divorces seen in the Indian society, but now, fights, misunderstanding, and divorce has become a fashion these days. The ratio of the divorced brides and grooms has shoot up to a great extent suddenly, which is mainly because of the short tempered and the impatient behaviour adopted by the younger generation these days.

These days, people are more concerned about the ‘me’ factor, rather than ‘our’ and ‘we’, the feeling of togetherness and sacrifice has been replaced by the competitive feelings of intolerance and need for more money, name and fame. Each one of them, whether it’s the bride or the groom, no one is ready to bow their heads in front of their partner. The factor of selfishness and self- contentment overpowers the feeling of togetherness and love these days, which results to the parting off of a husband and wife. All such thinking and mentality, is leading us to a stage, where the longitivity of marriage as an undying bond is surely at stake. Therefore bride and groom need to make major changes in their attitude towards marriage and should try and make each possible effort to understand each other, before parting from each other and should help in maintaining the holiness of the marriage as an eternal bond.

Is a groom as gharjamai acceptable??

Is the culture of gharjamai fading these days, are Indians becoming more stigmatic about accepting their son- in – laws as house husbands, or its becoming a prestige issue for the Indian brides to have house husbands. This suddenly came to my mind, when one of my friends mentioned his wish of becoming gharjamai after marriage, the desire, which made all of go in great shock. Though he was kidding, but it made my mind to discuss this issue with you all, I mean how a guy in today’s time could want to spend his life over the support of his in- laws. The age, when everyone is the ruler of his life, why would someone want to lead his life, according to others wishes.

This is surely a topic, which highly depends on the thinking, the family background and the future plans of a person. A practise of house- husbands, or gharjamai, was followed in the earlier times, in rich and royal families, where the family used to have their girl as the only child and they did not have any successor to carry their name forward. In such cases, they used to request their son- in- law, to come and live in their house and work for their family business. But now- a- days, it has become a prestige issue for the groom to go and live in the house of the bride. Though, this practise is still prevalent in the some of the villages of the country.

In fact, many Indian grooms these days, out of generosity, offer a helping hand to the bride’s family, if her mother or father is a widower, and the bride is their only daughter. This is also because of the brides contributing equally towards earning the living for the family. So, I think it’s not totally bad for the groom to go and live with his in- laws family, till the time, he is also making equal efforts to run the house and make each person live happily. Otherwise, being totally dependent on the bride’s family, is surely unacceptable, and should not even be promoted by the bride and her family, because in any case, the groom has to realise his responsibilities towards his own kin and family.

Peeping into the mind of the bride

No doubt, wedding day is the most amazing day in the lives of both bride and groom. But, for bride, it is the day filled with loads of emotions. I think a bride, goes through tons of emotions throughout the day, the major ones being the sadness and happiness. Tears seem to be like the best friends, they accompany not only bride, but even her family members all day during the marriage ceremonies. Even the rare moments, called the tears of happiness can also be witnessed during this occasion. Shades of the happy, sad, nervous, anxious, chilled, cool, surprise moments are experienced by the bride in a single day.

One of my friend, who got married recently, told me, that the day of the marriage seems like a long day, its not at all like a usual day, it seems like you live so many days and relations in that one day. Actually you get to know the meaning and sanctity of all relations on the day of your marriage. Actually I too believe that, the moments, when the maternal uncle, mother, father, grandparents, perform different rituals with the bride are speechless, they are times, which are priceless and a girl only, when in the form of a bride, gets to earn and practice those moments.

Each mantra or spiritual rhyme recited by the priest, takes the bride away from her parents and maternal family, leading her life towards new beginning with new family and new relatives. The most emotional and touching moment in the marriage, is when the girl leaves her maternal house and heads towards her new house with her husband. Though, the happiness and the majesticity of the feeling of a new life, full of happiness and joys is beyond description, but anyhow the feeling of leaving your family behind, and that this house will no longer be yours, certainly overpowers the happiness and makes you as a bride so feeble and full of tears. All these emotions are very personal and close to the heart of the bride, so the groom should always try and understand these emotions which a bride goes through at the time of their wedding, and should always support her, in starting a new life, filled with all the smiles and happy moments.

Marriages Should be based on Love Not Caste or Religion

Indian culture is very diverse and houses various castes, communities and religions. It is always preferred in Indian marriages that the couple belongs not only to the same religion but to the same caste and community as well.

The Indian society even after evolving for years has not been able to get rid of caste system especially in wedding affairs. Till today, young couples who belong to different castes and religions find it very difficult to marry each other due to the protests from their families. Inter caste marriages are apparently seen as a blemish for the family and both the girl and the boy are treated as rebels. It is highly questionable how a couple can be united on the basis of their religion and not emotions.

Inter-religious marriages are not very frequent in our country even though it proudly boasts of hundreds of castes and religions. With education and exposure to other cultures of the world, the concept of inter caste marriages is slowly being accepted by people at least in the urban cities.

It is quite amazing to see a country flaunting its variegated cultural outlook but not accepting marriage of two individuals from different religions. One should lay importance to the emotions of the couple and not focus on their religious backgrounds. They are just two beings who wish to spend their lives together irrespective of the caste and religion. Our society needs to realize that a successful marriage is not dependent on these factors but on the aspects of mutual understanding and compatibility.

Inter caste and inter religion marriages in India serve as a beacon light for social equality. It is crucial to break the perils of caste-system as marriage is only dependent on true love and feelings while caste and religion are all secondary issues.

Marriages : Made in Heaven, Celebrated on Earth

Everyone believes in existence of a superpower above us and some name it as GOD. God has made a soul mate for everybody and brings them together through the eternal bond called marriage. These marriages are celebrated luxuriously and elaborately on earth, especially in Indian customs.

Marriages lead to physical, mental and spiritual unison of a couple. A successful marriage demands love, understanding, mutual respect, trust, commitment and togetherness of a couple. Marriage is considered to be a very sacred relation that unites two individuals from different walks of life. The relationship of a man and woman is incomparable to any other relation that they share throughout their lives.

Marriages are, definitely, made in heaven else how do you think that two people with different upbringing and different opinions are bonded together. What is the force that unites only those two people as a couple and not with some one else. Most of us believe that it is destiny that makes you meet all the people in your life and so is the same with life partners. Destiny is written by God or at least directed by that superpower that operates above all of us.

He decides in advance whom to bring together to be tied in the bond of lifelong commitment and unison. And then, this matrimony is arranged and solemnized with pomp and grandeur to let the world meet your better half. In fact, this is why, marriages in India are performed royally and people spend most of their savings on the wedding. Such grand weddings are dream-like where the bride and the groom are the only center of attraction for all the guests and relatives.

Every girl, even today after such modernization, dreams of getting married in a fairy tale kind of a way. And then, why not, this is the most memorable moment in a person’s life.

Giving space to your life partner

The tag- handle with care does not only go with the delicate items made of glass and crystal, but these days, the tag is most suitable with the relationship shared between husband and wife. I hope that you will agree with me on the fact that relationship shared between married couples, though is very strong in terms of understanding and bonding, but at the same time is very subtle and emotional. You have to be very careful with the measures to make your relationship long-lasting and trustworthy. Marriage is the bond, which has dual nature, at times it is the strongest and sometimes it seems to be the weakest.

Well its weak or strong depends on the couple itself, they need to make sure that the strength of their relation is stable enough, that no one is able to create misunderstandings in their relationship. The steps have to be taken by both the husband and wife to ensure the longitivity of their love and bond shared. These days, being independent and self driven are the motives of every individual, whether its bride or groom, everyone wants to maintain their individuality and seek personal comfort and space in their lives. A common phenomenon, which is seen these days, is that either the husband or the wife has this habit of digging in too much in the lives of their partners. They need to understand the significance of the element of individuality and space required in each others life.

Peeping into the lives of others, after an extent becomes a headache for the person. Its fine to believe that they are your life partner and you have the right to know all the important happenings in their life, but this does not allows you to sit on his head every second. Everybody needs his space to live, and this is your duty as his partner to provide him that space and let him live the way he wants. This ways, the relation goes very smooth and a very healthy understanding and bonding is seen in such couples, who possess this attitude of taking things coolly and allowing your partner his space, where he can live his own life according to his wishes, obviously remaining in his limits.

Before Getting Married…

Wedding marks the beginning of a new life as the couple is tied in the bond of love forever. The meaning of marriage, today, is not complete without the mention of practicality though emotions continue to hold a significant place. It is very important that before making this lifetime commitment called marriage, one is 100% sure about seeing the match as future wife or husband.

Practicality, for modern generation, is as important as emotions and feelings. That means one should be completely aware of the financial position, religious beliefs, career comfort, personal space and family plan of his/ her would-be spouse before the wedding. One should not get married only because their parents or relatives believe it to be a good match. The concept of ‘arranged marriage’ has also modified with changing times as a couple doesn’t decide to tie the knot until they are comfortable with each other.

And then, how can one marry only because somebody has told them to? One needs to get into the depth of his/ her would-be partner’s life and know them and their lifestyle better. This is why the period of courtship is considered to be the most crucial and delicate times of a person’s life. Courtship is a phase where the prospective couple gets to know if they really are made for each other. They get to know more about the future spouse’s likes/ dislikes, lifestyle, behavior, general beliefs etc.

According to Indian beliefs, ‘Marriages are made in heaven’ and this bond does not last for only one but for seven lives. So, one should be prudent before pursuing this heavenly bond. Try to know if the potential partner is romantic, what religious beliefs are followed, how financially stable are they, when do they plan to begin the family, will they support the career moves, will there be some personal space in the relation and other such things. This shall help in making the right choice!

Sherlock Holmes Gets a New Task- Parents Skeptical About Prospective Matches Hire Detectives

The importance of marriages in India has been growing and gaining popularity in abroad as well. Marriage is a lifelong commitment between two individuals and is considered to be the most sacred relation in Hindu mythology.

The concept of marriage, now days, is facing an encounter with modernization. Television and Online Matrimonials are enough testimony to the evolving ways of getting married. They may facilitate or ease the process of finding the right match but also bring with them insecurities and uncertainties. Both parents and the individuals are always found concerned about the behavioral and characteristic traits of the potential match, guy or girl.

Since, one can never be sure of the habits and character of a person based on information from limited sources like relatives, neighbors, etc., why not hire a private detective? Yes, this is exactly what the Indian parents have been doing to make sure that the prospective son-in law or daughter-in-law is the perfect choice. In order to put the seal of surety and to confirm that they are not risking their child’s life by marrying him/ her off to that particular person, parents are hiring detectives.

The fact that matrimonial websites have comforted the process of finding good partners has been unanimously agreed to by parents. But, concerns have risen due to physical distance and absence of connection, thereby, encouraging them to hire services from an agency that can verify credentials of the match. While voicing their concerns, parents added that if they could spend lakhs of rupees on the wedding celebration, can’t they shell out a mere 1% to ensure lifelong happiness of their children.

The job of these detectives is to report about the prospective partner’s lifestyle, friend group, habits, etc. Investigation agencies agree to the spurt in their business as parents are increasingly hiring their services.