Changing your name after marriage

Marriage is the most important decision of our life. It is the decision, which not only changes the whole lifestyle of a human being, but it also leads to the change in identity of a bride. There are hardly any changes, which a guy goes through after marriage, other than the responsibilities, he takes of his family. But, if we talk about the bride, there are loads of changes and modifications that a bride has to adopt to lead a hassle-free life. The first and the foremost step towards change is shifting of her home, from her maternal house to the house of her in- laws, which is still ok, but the next thing, which any girl is most resistant to is the change of her name.

The change in the surname, is a common practise, which has been followed since ages in Indian marriages, but with the changing times and the girls becoming more independent and adopting modern ways to lead her life, she is not ready to accept the change in her name. According to the girls these days, how can they change their identity or the name, with which they have lived for so many years? And plus adding the whole name of your husband to yours becomes too lengthy and difficult to pronounce. In fact some girls these days, are too conscious that they just don’t change their name at all, not even their surname. Some brides add their in- law’s surname at the end of their original full name to mark their alliance with the new family, which I think is the best way.

These things are very debatable and have even lead to some family disputes, but at the end it depends on the mutual understanding of the bride and the groom. The mental set- up and the thinking of the groom and his family plays a very important role here, because if the family is very strict and blindly follows all the old rituals and customs, then the bride in any case would have to bear the full additional changes to her name, but if the groom or the family understand her emotions, then they would surely support in keeping her original name as it is with an add-on of their family name, forever. And if you are among few of the latter cases, then I must say, are the blessed one, because in such a modern society even, you would find very less families, who understands the attachment and the emotions that a bride has for her name and family.

Wedding card - the official announcement of the marriage

Marriages are definitely the most exciting moment in our life, its not only you who is happy for the marriage ceremony, but the family as a whole takes part in its preparations and rituals. The first and the most important step towards the announcement of the wedding alliance is the wedding card. The invitation card for the marriage is what, which declares the togetherness of the couple, with their names written on the card, next to each others. I hope you will agree with me on the fact that, a prospective groom or bride feels very different and relaxed after seeing their names written together on the wedding card. The announcement makes their relation official and from then the countdown for the wedding starts.

In most of the Indian weddings, as far as I have observed, the first wedding card is presented in front of the lord or the religious god of the family, to seek his blessings for a successful wedding life. Invitation of the wedding needs to be sent to all the family members and friends. With our couples adopting the modern methods, invitation cards, these days, are also sent via emails. In most of the cases, these wedding cards are the scanned copies of the original invitation, but many perspective brides and grooms are also seen designing cards for their marriage themselves.

Designing your wedding card, has its own charm, all the dreams and designs you have always thought of, you can implement that to your card. A lot of innovation and creativity is required for the same, and the card should be a result of the prior discussion with your partner. Disseminating self- made cards among your friends makes you feel proud and contended at the same time. In fact, some couples, even design the print format of the wedding card, which goes to all the relatives and friends. This not only saves the money of the designing part, but also the happiness and the jolliness felt inside is something which cannot be expressed in words.

Marriage makes a person responsible

There are various stages to which one gets encountered during his life time. Other than the phases of being a child, teen, young, mid-age and then old, we classify our life, generally on the basis of life before marriage and after marriage. A person is said to undergo various changes during these two phases. A lot of difference in terms of lifestyle and change in habits is observed with the transformation of a person from the tag of unmarried to married. Not only the status of a person changes from single to married, but a sense of responsibility is also felt by the married couple.

We generally say the man or the guy has to be responsible because he has to withhold the responsibility of a family; he is the one who needs to take care of the financial as well as the emotional status of the family members. But if we see today’s scenario, its not only the husband who is entitled with the family responsibilities, equal contribution is made by the wife also, whether its in term of finances or other home responsibilities. Both of them are aware of the fact that, a balance needs to be maintained between the demands and their accomplishments.

In the young stage, we are never made to work or felt accountable for the factors which help in running a smooth and healthy family life. But as we grow, we ought to realise our functions and role in the family. But marriage is a stage, when one gets to realise and implement his assigned roles and responsibilities. Wed- lock is the ultimate relation shared in a man’s life, where he gets to learn various new things as well as makes his partner mould according to his requirements, it a relation of give and take, the basis of which is love and understanding. It actually makes a person more thoughtful, strong, understanding, patient, co-operative, and much more to keep the wheels of the family rolling in the right direction.

Marriage: A Commercial Business?

Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman who make a promise to be together for lifetime. This is why such long pujas and ceremonies are performed to strengthen the matrimony.

But, it seems this lifetime bond called marriage has also come under the knife of glamour. Television industry has decided to take a big leap by conducting swayamvars on national TV, the new in-thing, catching everyone’s attention. Coming up with multitude of ‘reality shows’ on TV related to everything one can think of, from performing tasks to talent hunts to blind dating to raising kids to weight losing to speaking truth to loyalty tests …they have done it all. It is now the turn of finding prospective grooms and brides for the celebrities on Indian television.

Amidst the shutterbugs, Rakhi Sawant followed by Rahul Mahajan were found looking for right life partners. These were supposedly the reality shows where based on the skills of the prospective matches, they would choose their better halves. Each contestant gets to ‘hobnob’ with the celebrity seeking partner but instead of being a tête-à-tête as it should be, it has become a matter of national show. By now, we all are aware of the realism in the reality based shows; to me, they are a mere gimmick to attract audience, thus the TRPs, by generating sensationalism.

Marriage, too, has clearly become commercialized. Television broadcasts are made for Indian audience to gaze at the very private and exclusive meetings between the prospective couple. Is it really alright to objectify men and women in such a manner? Is there no way of stopping such commercializing of relations? We always say it’s their business and when they don’t mind, why should we. But, is shrugging off to everything happening around really the right way of dealing with them?

Significance of Mangalsutra in Indian Culture

Marriages in India are enriched with most colorful, charming and fun-filled ceremonies and rituals. One of the immensely important rituals in Indian weddings is of tying mangalsutra, the symbol of wedlock. The meaning of Mangalsutra denotes an auspicious thread or cord that unites both man and woman in a sacred bond of marriage. It defines the status of Indian women as being married and is a remarkably important ornament for a married woman. In Hindu culture, mangalsutra, kumkum, bangles, toe rings and nose ring complete the dressing up of a married woman.

Mangalsutra is a necklace with two strings or black and gold beads attached with a (gold or diamond) pendant. Its shape and size varies according to the cultural and regional beliefs followed by people. This emblem of marital dignity and chastity, worn by women is believed to possess divine powers. It implies protection of marriage and of husband’s life from evil powers, being the essence of married Indian women.

Like everything else, the modern generation of Indian girls has added glamour even to the concept of wearing managalsutra. It has become more of a fashion statement than a mere traditional adorner carrying heavy cultural beliefs. Girls are now ready to experiment with exclusive managalsutra designs and pendants.

On the other hand, the trend of donning managalsutra is vanishing with modernization affecting the mindsets of traditional wives. They are fast transforming into working women with a professional approach towards career who do not mind, not wearing this signifier of marriage. Women in India are increasingly breaking old customs and beliefs to come out of the shackles that restrict their personalities.

I agree that wearing mangalsutra is important for married women but professionalism is also crucial. One can wear it on special occasions, festivals and family get-togethers and may not in business meetings.

More on Courtship Period: Do’s and Don’ts

The courtship period is the time to decide about your marriage with the chosen partner. This is the only time where you can create or leave impressions of your partner on yourself and of yours on your partner. When a couple is gently uncovering the layers of each other’s personality, they should be a little careful. Read on to know more and follow the tips to have a successful courtship:

Open Mind and Unbiased opinions

Initiate your courtship period with a clear open mind. Avoid forming a biased or prejudiced view of your partner. You will surely be welcomed with many pleasant surprises while getting to know your partner better at the same time.

Spend quality time together

Take out enough quality time for each other. Spending time together would help you in exploring your partner’s temperament, behavior, interests, etc. directly or indirectly. Asking too many questions can become a little boring and even uncomfortable at times, so, try observing each other. You may observe his/ her behavior while driving on a busy road, while placing order at a crowded restaurant, while shopping in a busy market or while talking about general issues.

Don’t be on a fault finding spree

If your focus is on trying to see the negatives of the other person, you will obviously find uncountable. Remember two things: ‘Nobody is perfect’ and ‘Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder’. A couple has to always accept each other as they are to make the relationship work successfully. Two people with differences in their personalities can still make a happy great couple.

But, do make sure, it is not an investigation period instead the most cherished one. Keep it beautiful and enjoy it fully. Take a wise decision and have a happy life!

Fun at friend’s marriage

Marriage of any body in or around the family is a very fun and joyous moment for all, it’s like a lottery, you get to get shop new clothes, jewellery, accessories, and many more things. But the most majestic moments are those, which you spend in your friend’s marriage, those are the days to be engraved in the dairies of beautiful memories, that too if the marriage is of your best friend from the school days. It is said, school friends are everlasting, they are the only ones who can bear you in all your swinging moods, with all those highs and lows in your voice, and the relation is such the more you fight, the more you come closer.

Well, I was talking about the superb experience one has, while attending the wedding ceremonies of your best friend. The excitement starts from the announcement day itself, suddenly you start getting the feel of being responsible and all those butterflies start pinching your stomach, it feels like just few days before we were too small to play with swings and now our best friend is getting married. I know, you must be thinking, the butterfly part is for the friend, but still there is some nervousness and jumpiness felt by us also. The shopping days are the days to remember, going to hundreds of shops, buying ‘n’ number of gifts, all those special treatments shown by the shop owners, when you shop in bulk is quite demanding.

The best part is, you get to spend quality time with all your school friends, it’s like a reunion, recreating all those fun moments, doing masti, dancing, singing, its awesome, larger the number of friends, more the amount of fun. With the passing days, along with the happiness and thrill, a feeing of jealousy starts building up, as your friend gets more concerned about her fiancée and is obviously required to spend more time with him. This is what I experienced, when my best friend got married, I hope you all must be having some wonderful moments to share, will wait for your replies.

Celebrate each day as women’s day !

Women is the basis of every relation, it is because of her we exit. Women is the reason for our smile and the route to happiness, she is the sole reason which completes our life. I am not saying this, because I am a girl, its because I love and have eternally realized the importance and need of the god mother in my life, i.e. my mom she is one person, who is the reason of my smile, she is the reason why I live, and I hope, you must also be having some such reason to live, and that too a womanly connection, be it your sister, mother, wife or friend.

These people have made our lives special and worth living, it feels so stupid and awkward, when we choose a day for wishing them, in fact according to me, if I surrender my whole for my mom, even that would be less, forget about one day, its not even equal to one sacrificing deed she does for me, that is the reason why I am writing this blog, a day after the women’s day, to do a starting towards celebrating each day as a woman’s day . I feel we should try and make each day special and worth living for these women, who have helped in defining our lives in such a beautiful manner.

Just imagine, a girl leaves her house after marriage and suddenly holds on all the responsibilities of a woman, to successfully run a happy family. It must be so tough for them to manage and adjust in the environments, which are too new and unknown to her, but still she puts her best efforts to keep all the members of her family happy, I think salutations and appreciations should be made to all these women on a daily basis, may be by giving a chocolate or small activities, to motivate them for keep showering her love on us…coz at the end of the day, everyone needs motivation and reward! I gifted my mom today with a sweet packed for her lunch, what did you do?

The Beauty of Courtship Period

The period of Courtship is one of the most beautiful times of a relationship. The moments spent together in this period are always among the most memorable ones. When a couple decides to spend their lives together and choose each other as life partners, the announcement of marriage is made. This announcement is followed by the approval of society in form of a ceremony, roka or maybe engagement in some cases.

Courtship is actually the time period before marriage and after the roka (or engagement) ceremony. It is ideally the phase where the couple gets to know and understand each other better. This phase is very delicate and crucial as the couple hasn’t tied the knot yet and is still considering to be wedded to each other. Courtship is a very important experience in an individual’s life as innocence and curiosity prevails in the relation. It is a beautiful blend of both cuteness and seriousness as both the partners put their best foot forward and show themselves in the best light possible. It is full of sweet, rosy times coupled with the most essential element of decisiveness. One has to be sure that he/she wishes to wed the partner and wants to see him/ her standing beside at all times.

The courtship times usually see a great bonding and good friendship developing between the couple. Since, they are still in the phase of knowing each other, they look forward to meeting again and becoming familiar to the likes, dislikes, interests, values and behavior of their future partner. It is kind of ‘permissible dating’ where both the boy and the girl see each other with the permission and knowledge of their parents. They try to slowly unleash their personalities to know if they are made for that lifelong companionship called ‘marriage’.

Wedding Choora- Fantasy of every girl !

Marriage is a dream of every girl; despite of a number of all the tantrums and taunts, somewhere deep in our heart, from the very beginning, we start dreaming about our marriage day and the functions and the preparations of marriage. The shopping for marriage is the most exciting thing one does, especially the girl gets the opportunity to purchase endless number of clothes and jewellery of her choice, the process is bit tiring but it’s the most exciting part of the whole marriage. One thing, among all the marriage rituals, about which a girl starts dreaming from the early days of her teenage, is the ‘wedding choora’.

Wearing a choora, after marriage, has become more like a fashion these days, irrespective of the prevalence of this custom in their religion or not. People have now-a-days started considering Choora bangles as a symbol of a married woman. Even with the changing times, where, women do not prefer wearing mangalsootra and sindur, after marriage, they take immense pride in showing off their choora. The wedding choora usually consists of a set of red and white bangles which can vary in number according to the choice of the bride.

Actually, the ritual of choora has its traditional roots in the Punjabi culture, where the maternal uncle of the bride, on the day of the marriage, performs this custom of making his niece wear the wedding choora. The choora or the wedding bangles is first washed in milk, and the bride cannot see her choora before wearing it. These days, the design of the choora is first selected by would- be bride, after which a different set of the same design is worn by her on the day of her wedding. The traditional period of wearing a choora is the starting one year of her married life, but these days, girls wear them as long as they wish, due to their liking towards it. There are different set and designs available in the market, which vary in their colour, maroon and white being the base, and the count can vary from 21, 31 to 51, bangles in a set, as per the choice of the bride.

Even a passer-by wearing choora catches our attention, and in fact me and my friend while travelling compares all the chooras and see which one is better, on the basis of which we decide, which design we will choose for our own marriage, which is quite exciting and at the same time very emotional in its own way!