Flatter Your Soul Mate with Special Gifts

Eternal love is away from all the materialistic wants in life. Love is life for many and for few others it is the way to make life easier to live. It depends on you how you take it and how you want your love life to go further. Love is the basis of married life not only in Indian weddings, but across the world. Also, it is the power which motivates you to move ahead in life. Support from your life partner is very important to keep your marriage cart rolling in the prospective direction. Though, love and married life is not dependent on the gifts and the material benefits you gain from each other. But, still receiving a gift from your spouse, just like that, refreshes the feeling of love you both share. Women in Indian marriages are mostly tagged as home makers, who spend their entire life taking care of her family members. Therefore little care and concern is must for her.

Being a husband, you are ought to take care of even the smallest need of your wife. Gifting her stuffs and making her feel good about your relation are few things, which add special moments to your marriage journey.

Following are few of the steps you can follow to flatter your spouse:

• Say her, ‘I Love You’. It’s the best gift you can gift him/ her at any point of time.
• If your wife is a home maker, you can gift her love stories, to add more romance and liveliness to your married life
• Take her out for dinner or a movie. Plan a special day for her. It’s not necessary that you would wait for a special occasion to come; you can create a special day yourself. Blend creativity and surprises and present it with love, she would surely love it.

Gifts like jewels, clothes, accessories can be bought by anyone, but your special someone should be treated like an angel giving all the due important she deserves. There are many online matrimony sites, which helps you with more ideas to flatter your spouse and add happiness to both of your lives.

Joint Families and Marriages in India

Times have changed and so have our thinking! No more people prefer marrying their children in join families. To be honest, we think joint families invite more problems and leads to family issues. Apart from our life partner, his family and relatives also play an important role in shaping a healthy environment for marriage. Most of the married women today are independent and fall under the category of working women. This new work culture demands personal space at home for women. But, our Indian families are still moving on those pre- conceived notion that women in which ever situation are made to serve their family. No doubt, being a daughter-in-law of a family you are responsible for the well being of your family. But at the same time, family is also supposed to respect your privacy and give space to your personal life.

There are a number of situations which demand consistency in terms of support and care to the family. But a person can’t keep on showering these things, without getting any returns. Same is the case with the bride of the family, who expects same amount of love and care from her family. Joint families are known to be formed with an atmosphere full of household chores. But, in case where the bride is working it gets difficult for her to manage home and work. Especially, when the parents in-law, expects the bride to invest all her free time in the family and take care of their smallest needs.

The concept of a joint family has been successful in the past, with people more concerned about each others well being. Same can be successful today also, if we start valuing each others priorities and try and understand them. Therefore, these preconceived notions about joint families need to be changed, only then there would be happier and healthy marriage in India.

Make your Life Partner Feel Special this Dating Season

Life Partner

What’s the plan for today? Let’s go out somewhere. Look at the weather outside, you cannot let the time pass like this! These are few of the dialogues; we get to hear when the god of monsoon showers its blessing on us. It’s not just friends; the weather brings a great opportunity for the couples, to scribe some amazing memories together. It is a well known fact, that weather has a great effect on our mood. A beautiful weather has the power to turn your romantic senses on and enjoy the feeling of love, which is out of this world.

The weather these days perfectly calls for a date and therefore can also be called as the dating weather. It’s not necessary that dating has to be between boyfriend and girlfriend; it can be between a husband and wife also. There are a number of occasions, where you treat your wife and make her feel special, but doing something just like that, just because you feel like, makes the whole effort extra special.

Married life with time is said to become monotonous with the passage of time, therefore little changes in the daily routine are mandatory for you as a couple. This helps you add colors of happiness and surprises in your life. Summers with the orangish tone spread across the sky, cool breeze making the trees swing and droplets of rain humming with the air, frames the perfect weather which can give a romantic change to your married life. This is the weather, which surely makes you sing songs like ’yeh mausam ka jadoo hai mitwa…’, and you must take your wife on an amazing date in such captivating climatic conditions.

Indian marriages are always based on the principle of longevity and keeping the factors of romance and surprises alive in the bond is the only way to make it keep moving flawlessly.

Lovable fights can add fun to your married life

Marriage is a very sweet bond, which gains its strength with time. It is very important for you and your life partner to give time and space to each other, so that to have a well maintained married life. Marriage is the bond, which needs a lot of care and time to come at a stage, where both, you and your life partner understand each other very well and have no scope for doubts and misunderstandings. There are fights and misunderstandings in every relation, but sometimes, small fights between the couple can add fun to the married life. It actually adds cherishable moments in your journey of married life.

It is also said, the more you fight with your life partner, you are bound to form stronger bond with him. So, there is no harm in having small tiffs with your partner, because in a way, it gives an opportunity to know his highs and lows. This also gives you a clarity on the relationship you share with your partner, and where are you lacking behind. It is very important to fill the gaps, between husband and wife, to give a smooth shape to their married life. In fact, if there are problems in your married life, then its better to talk about that and just way off the issues from your precious bond.

Having a small fight with your partner, and by not talking to him for one or two days, actually makes both of you realise the importance of each other. Getting apart for a small time period increases the urge of being together and reinforces all the feelings of love and care in both the bride and groom. So, next time, if you have a fight with your love, then first of all don’t let it drag for long, and make the best use of it and try and understand, where did you lack behind and what made you to have an argument with your life partner. Always try and learn from your mistakes and you must keep it in mind that you must not repeat those mistakes, which would annoy your life partner.

Changing trend for marriageable age

There are many stages in life, which every person, whether it’s you or me, is bound to go through and handle it in a way that it turns out to be the best of the experiences. One of the phases in life, which is sure to change the whole definition of our life is the marriage. Marriages in India have always been given the priority and the search for the right match for marriage, starts as soon as we turn 25 or 26. Marriage in our grandparent days, were supposed to happen as soon as the child turns adult or even less. Then came the age, where parents didn’t use to think about our marriage, till the time we turn 25-26., though the age variation use to differ for boys and girls. But now days, the trend seems to be taking a u- turn and an early age marriage can be seen again.

The parents now- a-days, feel that as soon as their children starts earning a handsome income, he should be handled with the responsibility of marriage. In fact, with the love marriages slowly getting accepted in India, boys and girls themselves can be seen very excited about their marriage and want to settle down with their love in the right possible duration. This is also because of the maturation level achieved by the children these days, at a comparatively early age. The social and the professional life, brings a change in our total lifestyle and leads to the practise of dependency on others.  Also, there is an urge for a life partner to share all the problems and happiness with, for which the most promising solution seems to be marriage.

There is no harm in early marriage, i.e. after we get settled with our professional lives, but we should always keep this in mind, that marriage is a life long decision and should always be taken very carefully and with all the plus and minuses considered.  

The first gift…

Marriage is the sweetest gift, given by the god to two human beings for their life time. Every human being, whether it’s you or me, everyone is very excited about each and every thing related to marriage. It’s a function, which involves a number of people, whose happiness and joyous moments are related to the closeness in the relation, they share with the bride or the groom. There are lot of things, combining which forms the reasons due to which the bride and the groom can live a cherished and a smooth married life. The very first meeting of the bride and the groom, just after their marriage gets fixed is a very precious one. There are a number of questions, which both of them have in their minds which are directly or indirectly related to expectations.

The biggest curiosity, which keeps the mind of the bride and the groom busy, is the first gift; they would get from their fiancée. There is a lot of excitement and pleasure attached to the gift, the expectations and their fulfilment, which both of them uses to greet each other. Whether it is the bride or the groom, both goes through a lot of mind boggling sessions, which makes them, decide what to choose and what not as the gift. The gift makes them form the first impression on their fiancée, which he or she carries through out the life. Therefore, the selection of the gift has to be the best and needs to match the personality of the bride or the groom.

The gift should also be the mirror image of the feelings, which the person has towards his fiancée, which helps in forming the base of their relation. so, whatever you choose as the first gift, needs to be very special and unique, and should in every way suit the personality of your would- be life partner.

Journey of Indian Marriages

Indian marriages have traversed a long way from the days when couples hardly met each other before the wedding to the times of today when they make an informed, well though out decision on marriage after several meetings. Marriages used to last for a lifetime earlier but now they break up at any instant due to trivial issues.

Dr. Vijay Nagaswami in his recent book titled ‘The Fifty-50 Marriage: Return to Intimacy’ talks about issues revolving around marriage and their solutions. The idea of marriage has changed tremendously over generations- from being a spiritualistic institution to a pragmatic one. This is commendable as it moves on from the level of being a ritualistic exercise to the one where the couple is involved and ‘owns’ it. This sacred relationship has always been on a backburner until few decades ago where husbands and wives viewed the relation as a role play. It is much more than role playing in modern times with couples getting engaged as life partners and human beings.

The kind of love in the course of relation may change but the magic never dies down, be it an arranged or love marriage. Dr. Nagaswami says that romantic love in the initial years of a marriage gets replaced by either intimate love or nurturing love. As couples are much more demanding-both men and women- they make efforts to accentuate the quality of their lives and relations. It has become a novel idea for them since what they had seen in their parents’ marriage as a kid has undergone a complete transformation. The roles of women as home makers and men as bread winners do not exist anymore at least in urban India.

A married couple today is like partnering of two individuals embarking on the journey called life!

Youth and Caste System in India

Marriages are synonymous to lifetime commitments and eternal bonding in India. But, it all seems to be much ado about nothing with so many obstacles being created by family folks and peers around marriages. Even after 63 years of independence, an individual cannot exercise the right to choose his/ her life partner.

Why do we keep reading about something or the other bothering our community elders every other day? An unnecessary fuss is always created over things like caste, religion, sect or sub-caste (gotra) and what not! How is it that parents and brothers prefer killing their daughters and sisters in the name of ‘honor’ than let them spend their lives with persons of their choice. It is very disheartening to see young couples dying for being in love across rural and urban areas in India.

Why is such injustice and brutality earmarking the concept of acceptable marriage? Rather than reinforcing the already weak institution of marriage, the so-called moral police of the society are further deteriorating it. Marriages make for celebrated occasions but are now continually associated with violence, murder, un-acceptance and betrayal that too not between the spouses but their relatives.

It is alarming to see that in a country where same-sex marriages are legal, a person is disowned if he chooses a life partner even of opposite sex. It spells extremes of death and doom on the couple daring to select a partner of his/ her choice. When we have progressed so much on all fronts and claim to have made women achieve empowerment why is it that we are still caught in trivial issues like caste, religion, gotra, etc. Let us open our minds and let everyone live their lives as they wish without dictating and dominating them. Our elders need to understand and live and let live.

Presence of celebrities in marriages

A marriage in India corresponds to fun, enjoyment, masti, pop and gaiety. We are always in wait of our cousins to get married, so that we can have fun- filled time there. All the peppiness and friendliness experienced in the marriage of one our close relatives cannot actually match any of the functions attended in life. The chores and the naughty things at the relative’s weddings form great memories and are unforgettable. You generally carry and rejoice these memories for life long. Marriage in itself is a huge event and just imagine how special it would become if some celebrity joins the wedding ceremony.

Now- a- days presence of celebrities in the wedding ceremonies is a common practise, but for that you need to shed a huge amount from your pocket. The presence of celebrities in a wedding makes it more entertaining and more talked about. These celebrities vary according to the standards of the family members of the bride and the groom. It can vary from a laughter champion to a film actor. The contacts of the family members, with any of the people from the film industry also turn out to be productive at the time of marriage, with their glimpse or presence at the marriage function. Just one glance of the film stars, or just one photographs of their with the Indian marrying couple makes the moment more memorable and cherished for long.

It is actually one of those lavishes, which can only be bared by the brats of top nosh people of the society. It is kinds of that expenditure, which can only be spend by those who have that extra money to spend. This is also in a way to show the standards and the capabilities of the family by having an extravagant wedding affair. Also in India, the film stars are actually worshiped as god, so their presence in a wedding ceremony adds a lot the importance of marriage from just being an event. I, personally have never got the chance of witnessing such marriages, but surely would want to, atleast for once and add those moments in the memories of my life time.

Institution of Marriage is Demolishing in India

Indian matrimony has always been associated with words like eternity, lifelong, everlasting and forever. It is the most beautiful relation that completes a man and a woman as they spend all their lives together with each other. Though it is not so easy to establish a lasting relation, Indian couples have been hugely successful in doing so. The fact not only fascinates everyone but also encourages them to do the same.

As rosy it may sound, it has changed in today’s times being no more an incorrigible relation. It can now be easily influenced by even the most insignificant and trivial of the issues like incompatibility, lack of cleanliness, bringing work home, lack of time, watching television, communication gap and so on. With women becoming fully aware of their rights and demanding equality, marital tensions are mounting up as males are not able to handle this empowerment. Adultery, extra-marital affairs, ego clashes, suspicion and lack of faith are constantly becoming reasons for the increasing number of marriage break ups.

It is interesting to note as figures reveal that chances of break up in love marriages are higher than in arranged marriages. The records state that at least 50% love marriages and 30% arranged marriages in India end up in divorce. Breaking marriages is not unheard of anymore as rising numbers of couples are opting for separation these days. Out of 1,36,000 marriages solemnized in Delhi in 2009, 10,000 ended up in divorce courts. Like ‘every coin has two sides’, it is good that the couple does not have to suffer with each other forever if not compatible but such increasing figures are sure creating tensions and apprehensions.

The couples are forced to think twice before tying the knot as the sacred institution of marriage is seen crumbling.

May 16, 2010 : The Day of Wedding Extravaganza

Marriage season was in resplendence on the auspicious day of Akshaya Tritiya on Sunday. If Mumbai witnessed the solemnization of 60,000 marriages, Delhi echoed wedding vows of around 20,000 couples. The tri-city of Chandigarh (including Panchkula, Chandigarh and Mohali) observed 200 marriages while Hubli in Karnataka saw at least 100 couples tying the blissful knot on one of the most favorable days in Hindu calendar.

All marriage halls, caterers, decorators, shamiyanas, photographers, priests, henna artists in these cities had their hands full after a lull of nearly six months. The day of Akshaya Tritiya is considered so fortunate that with almost a lakh couples getting married, there was a shortage of labourers and prices had shoot up 15 to 40% for various services. Wherever one turned, flower bedecked, brightly lit hotels and banquet halls with overflowing guests could be seen all around.

Huge wedding rush around the country could be seen with almost everyone invited to a wedding. Both government & private hotels & banquet halls were chock-a-block in Delhi and Mumbai with thousands of couple seeking blessings to start their new lives. The booking for this day had been done well in advance by most of the would-be couples to avoid any hassles later. Akshaya Tritiya is considered to be a lucky day to start a new business or to get married.

On trying to find the reason behind such popularity of the day, I found the legend associated with it. Akshaya Tritiya is traditionally celebrated as the birthday of the sixth avatar or incarnation of Lord Vishnu, the Hindu sage Parashurama. ‘Akshaya’ means the 'never diminishing' in Sanskrit and the day is widely believed to bring good luck and success in all new ventures undertaken. People across the country start new businesses, invest in gold and get married on this day.

Riveting Observations on Marriage & Divorce

Marriages are the most celebrated occasions in the Indian customs. And it is the most painful when this sacred relationship breaks. But, there are some many interesting observations made in a research on the best and worst things in an individual’s life - Marriage and Divorce. They are:

-At least 70% of those involved in a divorce have a lover at the time of their breakups but hardly 15% of them get married to that lover.

-The possibility of break ups in second marriages is higher than in first marriage. As statistics show- 45% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages and 75% of third marriages break up.

The research also emphasizes on the fact that one must definitely grow in a marriage for it to be successful. If it is mere longevity that one celebrates, it is a dreadful disaster. It also questioned if couples really take their wedding vows seriously as when you experience love, it is valid forever.

The research also explained how people who tend to fall in and out of love feel disappointment and disillusionment by giving either of the three responses- pessimism, romanticism and realism.

-Pessimists feel that love is an illusion and protect themselves against further disappointment by avoiding any kind of intimacy.

-Romantics make it a habit to fall in love but run away when the going gets tough.

-Realists decide to stay away from the excesses of romance and settle down for practical and mature relationships.

As authored by world mythologist, Joseph Campbell, people don’t realize and understand what exactly marriage is. People fall in love and get married thinking it will make their love affair eternal without realizing what marriage brings with it- Transformation. One has to yield, give and submit to the partner not just dictate and take from him/ her.

16th May- the wedding day of the year 2010

Wedding is no doubt the most auspicious day in our life; it is the day, which marks a new beginning in the life of both the bride and the groom. There are many things related to the wedding, which are important, yet tough to decide. Most tedious task is to decide the date for the wedding, which in Indian marriages, is attached to a lot of sacredness and is decided, keeping in mind a number of factors, including the astrological reasons. The proof of the believe of Indians, in the sanctity of the marriage dates, can be seen, when one gets to witness thousands of marriages in a day. Same is going to happen on 16th may, when the country will observe thousands of singles making life time commitments to their life partners. 16th may, this year is going to be celebrated as Akshaya Tritiya, one of the most sacred days of the year. The day is considered to be the most auspicious day for new beginnings, so people usually organise weddings, new business openings, or other new projects on this day. This day also relates to good luck, happiness and success, so people tend to earn punya, by performing good deeds on this sacred day.

Exactly 16th may is the date, when huge chunk of the bachelors of the state, will turn into couples, and head towards the responsibility of being married. This is also because, 16th may, is a Sunday, and the second day, of the sacred dates for the marriage, which will start from may 15th. Indian marriages hold a lot of importance in terms of the mahurat for the marriage, the day and time. In fact, you might have also got to marry early or late due to the unavailability of the apt mahurat for the marriage day and time.

So, there will be a lot of lighting and celebration, all over the city on 16th may, witnessing the highest number of marriages. The venues and the marriage halls have already been booked. So, if you are planning for some party on this date, then its better to postponed, because not only the marriage venues but the roads of Delhi will also be jam packed!

Is a groom as gharjamai acceptable??

Is the culture of gharjamai fading these days, are Indians becoming more stigmatic about accepting their son- in – laws as house husbands, or its becoming a prestige issue for the Indian brides to have house husbands. This suddenly came to my mind, when one of my friends mentioned his wish of becoming gharjamai after marriage, the desire, which made all of go in great shock. Though he was kidding, but it made my mind to discuss this issue with you all, I mean how a guy in today’s time could want to spend his life over the support of his in- laws. The age, when everyone is the ruler of his life, why would someone want to lead his life, according to others wishes.

This is surely a topic, which highly depends on the thinking, the family background and the future plans of a person. A practise of house- husbands, or gharjamai, was followed in the earlier times, in rich and royal families, where the family used to have their girl as the only child and they did not have any successor to carry their name forward. In such cases, they used to request their son- in- law, to come and live in their house and work for their family business. But now- a- days, it has become a prestige issue for the groom to go and live in the house of the bride. Though, this practise is still prevalent in the some of the villages of the country.

In fact, many Indian grooms these days, out of generosity, offer a helping hand to the bride’s family, if her mother or father is a widower, and the bride is their only daughter. This is also because of the brides contributing equally towards earning the living for the family. So, I think it’s not totally bad for the groom to go and live with his in- laws family, till the time, he is also making equal efforts to run the house and make each person live happily. Otherwise, being totally dependent on the bride’s family, is surely unacceptable, and should not even be promoted by the bride and her family, because in any case, the groom has to realise his responsibilities towards his own kin and family.

Peeping into the mind of the bride

No doubt, wedding day is the most amazing day in the lives of both bride and groom. But, for bride, it is the day filled with loads of emotions. I think a bride, goes through tons of emotions throughout the day, the major ones being the sadness and happiness. Tears seem to be like the best friends, they accompany not only bride, but even her family members all day during the marriage ceremonies. Even the rare moments, called the tears of happiness can also be witnessed during this occasion. Shades of the happy, sad, nervous, anxious, chilled, cool, surprise moments are experienced by the bride in a single day.

One of my friend, who got married recently, told me, that the day of the marriage seems like a long day, its not at all like a usual day, it seems like you live so many days and relations in that one day. Actually you get to know the meaning and sanctity of all relations on the day of your marriage. Actually I too believe that, the moments, when the maternal uncle, mother, father, grandparents, perform different rituals with the bride are speechless, they are times, which are priceless and a girl only, when in the form of a bride, gets to earn and practice those moments.

Each mantra or spiritual rhyme recited by the priest, takes the bride away from her parents and maternal family, leading her life towards new beginning with new family and new relatives. The most emotional and touching moment in the marriage, is when the girl leaves her maternal house and heads towards her new house with her husband. Though, the happiness and the majesticity of the feeling of a new life, full of happiness and joys is beyond description, but anyhow the feeling of leaving your family behind, and that this house will no longer be yours, certainly overpowers the happiness and makes you as a bride so feeble and full of tears. All these emotions are very personal and close to the heart of the bride, so the groom should always try and understand these emotions which a bride goes through at the time of their wedding, and should always support her, in starting a new life, filled with all the smiles and happy moments.

Marriages : Made in Heaven, Celebrated on Earth

Everyone believes in existence of a superpower above us and some name it as GOD. God has made a soul mate for everybody and brings them together through the eternal bond called marriage. These marriages are celebrated luxuriously and elaborately on earth, especially in Indian customs.

Marriages lead to physical, mental and spiritual unison of a couple. A successful marriage demands love, understanding, mutual respect, trust, commitment and togetherness of a couple. Marriage is considered to be a very sacred relation that unites two individuals from different walks of life. The relationship of a man and woman is incomparable to any other relation that they share throughout their lives.

Marriages are, definitely, made in heaven else how do you think that two people with different upbringing and different opinions are bonded together. What is the force that unites only those two people as a couple and not with some one else. Most of us believe that it is destiny that makes you meet all the people in your life and so is the same with life partners. Destiny is written by God or at least directed by that superpower that operates above all of us.

He decides in advance whom to bring together to be tied in the bond of lifelong commitment and unison. And then, this matrimony is arranged and solemnized with pomp and grandeur to let the world meet your better half. In fact, this is why, marriages in India are performed royally and people spend most of their savings on the wedding. Such grand weddings are dream-like where the bride and the groom are the only center of attraction for all the guests and relatives.

Every girl, even today after such modernization, dreams of getting married in a fairy tale kind of a way. And then, why not, this is the most memorable moment in a person’s life.

Giving space to your life partner

The tag- handle with care does not only go with the delicate items made of glass and crystal, but these days, the tag is most suitable with the relationship shared between husband and wife. I hope that you will agree with me on the fact that relationship shared between married couples, though is very strong in terms of understanding and bonding, but at the same time is very subtle and emotional. You have to be very careful with the measures to make your relationship long-lasting and trustworthy. Marriage is the bond, which has dual nature, at times it is the strongest and sometimes it seems to be the weakest.

Well its weak or strong depends on the couple itself, they need to make sure that the strength of their relation is stable enough, that no one is able to create misunderstandings in their relationship. The steps have to be taken by both the husband and wife to ensure the longitivity of their love and bond shared. These days, being independent and self driven are the motives of every individual, whether its bride or groom, everyone wants to maintain their individuality and seek personal comfort and space in their lives. A common phenomenon, which is seen these days, is that either the husband or the wife has this habit of digging in too much in the lives of their partners. They need to understand the significance of the element of individuality and space required in each others life.

Peeping into the lives of others, after an extent becomes a headache for the person. Its fine to believe that they are your life partner and you have the right to know all the important happenings in their life, but this does not allows you to sit on his head every second. Everybody needs his space to live, and this is your duty as his partner to provide him that space and let him live the way he wants. This ways, the relation goes very smooth and a very healthy understanding and bonding is seen in such couples, who possess this attitude of taking things coolly and allowing your partner his space, where he can live his own life according to his wishes, obviously remaining in his limits.

Before Getting Married…

Wedding marks the beginning of a new life as the couple is tied in the bond of love forever. The meaning of marriage, today, is not complete without the mention of practicality though emotions continue to hold a significant place. It is very important that before making this lifetime commitment called marriage, one is 100% sure about seeing the match as future wife or husband.

Practicality, for modern generation, is as important as emotions and feelings. That means one should be completely aware of the financial position, religious beliefs, career comfort, personal space and family plan of his/ her would-be spouse before the wedding. One should not get married only because their parents or relatives believe it to be a good match. The concept of ‘arranged marriage’ has also modified with changing times as a couple doesn’t decide to tie the knot until they are comfortable with each other.

And then, how can one marry only because somebody has told them to? One needs to get into the depth of his/ her would-be partner’s life and know them and their lifestyle better. This is why the period of courtship is considered to be the most crucial and delicate times of a person’s life. Courtship is a phase where the prospective couple gets to know if they really are made for each other. They get to know more about the future spouse’s likes/ dislikes, lifestyle, behavior, general beliefs etc.

According to Indian beliefs, ‘Marriages are made in heaven’ and this bond does not last for only one but for seven lives. So, one should be prudent before pursuing this heavenly bond. Try to know if the potential partner is romantic, what religious beliefs are followed, how financially stable are they, when do they plan to begin the family, will they support the career moves, will there be some personal space in the relation and other such things. This shall help in making the right choice!

Changing your name after marriage

Marriage is the most important decision of our life. It is the decision, which not only changes the whole lifestyle of a human being, but it also leads to the change in identity of a bride. There are hardly any changes, which a guy goes through after marriage, other than the responsibilities, he takes of his family. But, if we talk about the bride, there are loads of changes and modifications that a bride has to adopt to lead a hassle-free life. The first and the foremost step towards change is shifting of her home, from her maternal house to the house of her in- laws, which is still ok, but the next thing, which any girl is most resistant to is the change of her name.

The change in the surname, is a common practise, which has been followed since ages in Indian marriages, but with the changing times and the girls becoming more independent and adopting modern ways to lead her life, she is not ready to accept the change in her name. According to the girls these days, how can they change their identity or the name, with which they have lived for so many years? And plus adding the whole name of your husband to yours becomes too lengthy and difficult to pronounce. In fact some girls these days, are too conscious that they just don’t change their name at all, not even their surname. Some brides add their in- law’s surname at the end of their original full name to mark their alliance with the new family, which I think is the best way.

These things are very debatable and have even lead to some family disputes, but at the end it depends on the mutual understanding of the bride and the groom. The mental set- up and the thinking of the groom and his family plays a very important role here, because if the family is very strict and blindly follows all the old rituals and customs, then the bride in any case would have to bear the full additional changes to her name, but if the groom or the family understand her emotions, then they would surely support in keeping her original name as it is with an add-on of their family name, forever. And if you are among few of the latter cases, then I must say, are the blessed one, because in such a modern society even, you would find very less families, who understands the attachment and the emotions that a bride has for her name and family.

Marriage: A Commercial Business?

Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman who make a promise to be together for lifetime. This is why such long pujas and ceremonies are performed to strengthen the matrimony.

But, it seems this lifetime bond called marriage has also come under the knife of glamour. Television industry has decided to take a big leap by conducting swayamvars on national TV, the new in-thing, catching everyone’s attention. Coming up with multitude of ‘reality shows’ on TV related to everything one can think of, from performing tasks to talent hunts to blind dating to raising kids to weight losing to speaking truth to loyalty tests …they have done it all. It is now the turn of finding prospective grooms and brides for the celebrities on Indian television.

Amidst the shutterbugs, Rakhi Sawant followed by Rahul Mahajan were found looking for right life partners. These were supposedly the reality shows where based on the skills of the prospective matches, they would choose their better halves. Each contestant gets to ‘hobnob’ with the celebrity seeking partner but instead of being a tête-à-tête as it should be, it has become a matter of national show. By now, we all are aware of the realism in the reality based shows; to me, they are a mere gimmick to attract audience, thus the TRPs, by generating sensationalism.

Marriage, too, has clearly become commercialized. Television broadcasts are made for Indian audience to gaze at the very private and exclusive meetings between the prospective couple. Is it really alright to objectify men and women in such a manner? Is there no way of stopping such commercializing of relations? We always say it’s their business and when they don’t mind, why should we. But, is shrugging off to everything happening around really the right way of dealing with them?