Love Marriage - An Easy Way to a Happy Married Life

Love Marriage

Marriage is the most important decision we are made to take in life. There are hundreds of things we need to consider, before finalizing the decision and see that every things works out. Though, the mind set of people in India is changing and they are accepting love marriages, but still there are a large number of families who are against love marriage. In such cases, the couple need to make hard efforts to convince their parents and to make them approve the marriage. The parents should understand that ultimately, the couple has to spend their life together; they need to be friends with each other. This brings an ease in their married life and they can spend their future comfortably together.

Marrying the person you know well makes it easy for you to settle in future. Achieving the comfort level in a relationship takes a lot of time, which is already there in case of love marriages. The best part in a love marriage is that you are already friends with him/ her but often parents do not agree to the match their children choose for themselves.

Therefore, the most important step is to convince your parents about the marriage. For accomplishing this step, you need to be very sure about what you are doing. When you are confirm about your decision, and then only you can convince others about it. In case, you wish to get married to the boy or girl from another caste or religion, be sure that you both will be able to work it out well post marriage. Though, younger generations are more open to the idea, those following traditions tend to be a little sceptical about it. Explain your dear ones that it is the individual who matters and not the religion or caste.

Steps to Make your Arranged Marriage Successful

Arranged Marriages

Arranged marriages, is the primary concept about marriage, with which we Indians are nurtured. As children, we are always brought up with the belief that when we grow older, our parents search a life partner for us, with whom we are supposed to marry. The concept of arranged marriage is not at all wrong; it is a practice, which has been followed by Indians, since ages. Also, marriages groomed with Indian traditions are the most successful and the long lived matrimony bonds. But, now the ideologies are changing with the concept of love marriage is coming into practice. But, still a significant number of marriages bonds tied in India are arranged and a bride and groom need to be well prepared to accept a stranger as his life partner.

Efforts need to be made from both the sides, to make the marriage bond a success. Following are the steps, which you must follow, to keep your arranged marriage on a healthy and a happy track:

• First of all, every relationship demands comfort. You need to bring your relationship to a level which is friendly and wherein you can share every little thing with your partner. This comfort brings you closer to your spouse.
• When you get to know a person, then you start taking care of his small- small things, which develops the emotions of care and understanding in the relation. Caring for the smallest of the needs of your life partner, adds strength to your wedding bond.
• Care and understanding gives birth to the feeling of love in each others heart, which eventually gets stronger and results in intimacy in the relationship.
• In an arranged marriage, you should give time and space to your spouse, to understand each other and should not get hyper over small issues.
• You should remember, talking helps, therefore, if you have some doubts or problems, then please clear with your life partner, then and there.

All these steps may vary according to situations and how well you know the person. But the crux of every relation lies in the understanding you share and your willingness to groom the bond with love.

Nervousness before the first meeting for matchmaking

As we grow up, we get to be more mature, leaving behind all the childishness and bubbliness in our behaviour. It’s because, with time, we are required to take decisions, which are often for life time, and have the power to make or ruin our whole life. One such decision is choosing the right life partner for marriage. Marriages in India are always considered as the life time bond, which binds the bride and groom with each other for the rest of their lives. In case of love marriage, you know the highs and lows of the person and it’s a well sought and tested decision. But, in case of arranged marriages, the time from when the talks about the marriage start, the tensions and a ticklish feeling start arousing around us. The nervousness before meeting the prospective bride or groom is unexplainable and plus the sweet and sour flavours are added by the family members and the relatives.

This suddenly came to my mind, because one of my friends is going through this stage and I can feel what he is going through all these days. Every moment you have this thing in mind, what would you talk to her, how would she react, will she like me, what would happen, and a series of questions keeps on banging your head every moment. It’s something, which is beyond explanation and plus when you know, once said yes, cannot be brought back. This is really inexplicable and different, something which you would never have experienced before.

The only thing, which I think and would suggest to all my friends going through this stage, is be positive and have an optimistic approach in whatever you do. I know nothing much can be drawn out of those ten minutes discussion, but try and take the best use of those few minutes and transform them to the best minutes of your life. Because, whether you say yes or no, it has to be for your good. So be alert and cautious at every step. ‘Just be yourself’, is the mantra and remember by following this, you can win over any situation.

Finding the right person for marriage

Marriage is a phrase, which all of us gets introduces to in our life time. The moment, we turn 23- 24 years, our parents starts pondering our lives, with the marriage proposals. Everywhere we go, our relatives, uncles, aunties, keep pinching us with the choices for marriage and different talks about marriage. Obviously one gets irritated out of it. But at the end, we have to get married, right? Well if you have already chosen your life partner, I mean you are going for the love marriage, then it’s not that tough. But the main difficulty comes in the arrange marriages, where you have parental pressure, plus time constraint, which makes you go hay way. The decision of marriage is the one, on which our whole life is dependent. Therefore, it is very important, that a proper research is done before choosing the person for marriage.

You obviously don’t have enough time, because giving verdict to the bride or groom’s party is also important, in the given time period. But, taking the right decision in the time available is the toughest thing to work on. In that small time only, you need to make the biggest decision of your life. A lot of research and enquiry should be made, before the bond of marriage gets finalised. Also, you should try and spend some quality time with the prospective bride or groom. Knowing the compatibility ratio and character traits of the person is very important. Though, the same cannot be achieved in such a small period, but at least you should have that analysing power, to judge the person’s personality according to his attitude and behaviour in the respective time.

Marriage is actually the biggest decision of life, so please don’t take it lamely and go through a proper research before giving your final verdict!

Journey of Indian Marriages

Indian marriages have traversed a long way from the days when couples hardly met each other before the wedding to the times of today when they make an informed, well though out decision on marriage after several meetings. Marriages used to last for a lifetime earlier but now they break up at any instant due to trivial issues.

Dr. Vijay Nagaswami in his recent book titled ‘The Fifty-50 Marriage: Return to Intimacy’ talks about issues revolving around marriage and their solutions. The idea of marriage has changed tremendously over generations- from being a spiritualistic institution to a pragmatic one. This is commendable as it moves on from the level of being a ritualistic exercise to the one where the couple is involved and ‘owns’ it. This sacred relationship has always been on a backburner until few decades ago where husbands and wives viewed the relation as a role play. It is much more than role playing in modern times with couples getting engaged as life partners and human beings.

The kind of love in the course of relation may change but the magic never dies down, be it an arranged or love marriage. Dr. Nagaswami says that romantic love in the initial years of a marriage gets replaced by either intimate love or nurturing love. As couples are much more demanding-both men and women- they make efforts to accentuate the quality of their lives and relations. It has become a novel idea for them since what they had seen in their parents’ marriage as a kid has undergone a complete transformation. The roles of women as home makers and men as bread winners do not exist anymore at least in urban India.

A married couple today is like partnering of two individuals embarking on the journey called life!