Joint Families and Marriages in India

Times have changed and so have our thinking! No more people prefer marrying their children in join families. To be honest, we think joint families invite more problems and leads to family issues. Apart from our life partner, his family and relatives also play an important role in shaping a healthy environment for marriage. Most of the married women today are independent and fall under the category of working women. This new work culture demands personal space at home for women. But, our Indian families are still moving on those pre- conceived notion that women in which ever situation are made to serve their family. No doubt, being a daughter-in-law of a family you are responsible for the well being of your family. But at the same time, family is also supposed to respect your privacy and give space to your personal life.

There are a number of situations which demand consistency in terms of support and care to the family. But a person can’t keep on showering these things, without getting any returns. Same is the case with the bride of the family, who expects same amount of love and care from her family. Joint families are known to be formed with an atmosphere full of household chores. But, in case where the bride is working it gets difficult for her to manage home and work. Especially, when the parents in-law, expects the bride to invest all her free time in the family and take care of their smallest needs.

The concept of a joint family has been successful in the past, with people more concerned about each others well being. Same can be successful today also, if we start valuing each others priorities and try and understand them. Therefore, these preconceived notions about joint families need to be changed, only then there would be happier and healthy marriage in India.

Lovable fights can add fun to your married life

Marriage is a very sweet bond, which gains its strength with time. It is very important for you and your life partner to give time and space to each other, so that to have a well maintained married life. Marriage is the bond, which needs a lot of care and time to come at a stage, where both, you and your life partner understand each other very well and have no scope for doubts and misunderstandings. There are fights and misunderstandings in every relation, but sometimes, small fights between the couple can add fun to the married life. It actually adds cherishable moments in your journey of married life.

It is also said, the more you fight with your life partner, you are bound to form stronger bond with him. So, there is no harm in having small tiffs with your partner, because in a way, it gives an opportunity to know his highs and lows. This also gives you a clarity on the relationship you share with your partner, and where are you lacking behind. It is very important to fill the gaps, between husband and wife, to give a smooth shape to their married life. In fact, if there are problems in your married life, then its better to talk about that and just way off the issues from your precious bond.

Having a small fight with your partner, and by not talking to him for one or two days, actually makes both of you realise the importance of each other. Getting apart for a small time period increases the urge of being together and reinforces all the feelings of love and care in both the bride and groom. So, next time, if you have a fight with your love, then first of all don’t let it drag for long, and make the best use of it and try and understand, where did you lack behind and what made you to have an argument with your life partner. Always try and learn from your mistakes and you must keep it in mind that you must not repeat those mistakes, which would annoy your life partner.

Girls Resist Early Age Matrimony to Become Self-Reliant

Marriage in India is the most celebrated relation but brings many responsibilities with it. Only a responsible and well educated girl can shoulder the obligations that come along with the matrimony. And girls across the country seem to have understood the importance of education and of becoming self-dependent as they now opt for further studies than an early marriage.

The phenomenon of child marriage is quite prevalent in India even today with several areas and communities getting their children married before the actual eligible age. The rapid urbanization and globalization could reach only cities while towns and villages remained as ignorant as always. Parents kept violating human rights by marrying their children at an early age due to acute poverty and illiteracy. But, it seems that girls have now become aware of the hazards of marrying early and have decided to go against the tide. They now aim at achieving self reliance before dedicating themselves to the life filled with domestic responsibilities and household chores.

According to National Family Health Survey (NFHS-3), over half of Indian women were married before reaching the legal minimum age of 18 years. Early marriage is always linked to lack of education among girls as they are not able to acquire the understanding and skills needed to handle marital lives. A person well conversed with realities of life that may be garnered through education or other sources is better equipped to handle stress both mentally and physically.

It is extremely pivotal for the woman in marriage to be developed intellectually and physically. She can then decide what is right and wrong for her family; nourish her children better; impart qualities needed to live a good life; be a robust emotional support and even financial if needed. Only a learned woman can make the marriage successful away from male dominance and patriarchal pressures.

Presence of celebrities in marriages

A marriage in India corresponds to fun, enjoyment, masti, pop and gaiety. We are always in wait of our cousins to get married, so that we can have fun- filled time there. All the peppiness and friendliness experienced in the marriage of one our close relatives cannot actually match any of the functions attended in life. The chores and the naughty things at the relative’s weddings form great memories and are unforgettable. You generally carry and rejoice these memories for life long. Marriage in itself is a huge event and just imagine how special it would become if some celebrity joins the wedding ceremony.

Now- a- days presence of celebrities in the wedding ceremonies is a common practise, but for that you need to shed a huge amount from your pocket. The presence of celebrities in a wedding makes it more entertaining and more talked about. These celebrities vary according to the standards of the family members of the bride and the groom. It can vary from a laughter champion to a film actor. The contacts of the family members, with any of the people from the film industry also turn out to be productive at the time of marriage, with their glimpse or presence at the marriage function. Just one glance of the film stars, or just one photographs of their with the Indian marrying couple makes the moment more memorable and cherished for long.

It is actually one of those lavishes, which can only be bared by the brats of top nosh people of the society. It is kinds of that expenditure, which can only be spend by those who have that extra money to spend. This is also in a way to show the standards and the capabilities of the family by having an extravagant wedding affair. Also in India, the film stars are actually worshiped as god, so their presence in a wedding ceremony adds a lot the importance of marriage from just being an event. I, personally have never got the chance of witnessing such marriages, but surely would want to, atleast for once and add those moments in the memories of my life time.

Same Gotra Marriage : The Most Controversial Argument

Marriage in India is considered to be the most beautiful relationship one can ever have and this is why it is an elaborate affair that seeks blessings of hundreds of Gods and relatives. But, unfortunately this importance and sanctity attached to marriages has begun to come across as a false show. Every other day, one finds something or the other coming up against marriages- be it inter-caste or inter-religion or same sex or same gotra marriage.

After hundreds of ‘honor killings’ against inter-caste marriages, it is now the turn of same gotra marriages. Khaps and Panchayats of the villages are dead opposed to the concept of marrying within the gotra whereas urban India remains oblivion to the whole idea of the controversy. They seek to ban same gotra marriage and are demanding amendments in Hindu Marriage Act as they firmly believe that their ruling cannot be fettered even by the Constitution of India.

All the hype and controversy surrounding same gotra marriage is much ado about nothing. The recent spate of violence and khap-ordained ‘honour killings’ have become a cause for dismay in the minds of right thinking citizens. We dream of a society free of divisions of caste and creed but are constantly grappling with the might and power of the feudal mindset that perpetrates caste. Khaps have threatened to MPs and MLAs to take a decision and ban sagotra marriages- marriage between people belonging to same gotra.

At least I am not able to understand what the big deal about ‘gotra’ is. I am sure like me, many of us have no idea what gotra means and which one do we belong to. Loosely called sub-caste, my mind questions, wasn’t division on the basis of castes enough that this new element of sub-caste has been triggered to slice us further.