Steps to Make your Arranged Marriage Successful

Arranged Marriages

Arranged marriages, is the primary concept about marriage, with which we Indians are nurtured. As children, we are always brought up with the belief that when we grow older, our parents search a life partner for us, with whom we are supposed to marry. The concept of arranged marriage is not at all wrong; it is a practice, which has been followed by Indians, since ages. Also, marriages groomed with Indian traditions are the most successful and the long lived matrimony bonds. But, now the ideologies are changing with the concept of love marriage is coming into practice. But, still a significant number of marriages bonds tied in India are arranged and a bride and groom need to be well prepared to accept a stranger as his life partner.

Efforts need to be made from both the sides, to make the marriage bond a success. Following are the steps, which you must follow, to keep your arranged marriage on a healthy and a happy track:

• First of all, every relationship demands comfort. You need to bring your relationship to a level which is friendly and wherein you can share every little thing with your partner. This comfort brings you closer to your spouse.
• When you get to know a person, then you start taking care of his small- small things, which develops the emotions of care and understanding in the relation. Caring for the smallest of the needs of your life partner, adds strength to your wedding bond.
• Care and understanding gives birth to the feeling of love in each others heart, which eventually gets stronger and results in intimacy in the relationship.
• In an arranged marriage, you should give time and space to your spouse, to understand each other and should not get hyper over small issues.
• You should remember, talking helps, therefore, if you have some doubts or problems, then please clear with your life partner, then and there.

All these steps may vary according to situations and how well you know the person. But the crux of every relation lies in the understanding you share and your willingness to groom the bond with love.

Intimacy shared in the courtship period makes a marriage bond strong

Marriages in India, from ages has been following the trends of arrange marriages, due to which marriage in a way is also called as one of the biggest risks, which we take in our lives. Though the concept of love marriages has brought a lot much change in way marriages are looked at in India. Today, we as youngsters are more free and optimistic in choosing our life partner, compared to our parents or grandparents. Our life moves the way want and we have the liberty to choose and fall in love with the person, of our preference. In case of love marriage, it’s very easy for the bride and groom to adjust after marriage, because they know each other very well and have already formed the bond of understanding. 

But in case of arranged marriages, it’s only the courtship period, which the bride and groom get to know each other before marriage. Though, after marriage, there is whole life to understand each other, but the excitement and the thrill, which prevails before marriage, is inexplicable. Its beyond explanation, I have experienced this, as one of my friends is going through this stage and he is always on the 9th cloud. His happiness and enthusiasm can be seen in his eyes and the way he talks. He is having an arranged marriage, but the period he is going through, his courtship period, is helping him getting close to his fiancée and now it seems no less than a love marriage. 

It is so strange, that in such a short period of time, they have got so close. I think, such is the power of love, which is experienced in the courtship period by the couple tying the knot of arranged marriage. The intimacy developed at the courtship period, gives birth to the feeling of love, which the bride and groom cherishes all long in their married life. 

Nervousness before the first meeting for matchmaking

As we grow up, we get to be more mature, leaving behind all the childishness and bubbliness in our behaviour. It’s because, with time, we are required to take decisions, which are often for life time, and have the power to make or ruin our whole life. One such decision is choosing the right life partner for marriage. Marriages in India are always considered as the life time bond, which binds the bride and groom with each other for the rest of their lives. In case of love marriage, you know the highs and lows of the person and it’s a well sought and tested decision. But, in case of arranged marriages, the time from when the talks about the marriage start, the tensions and a ticklish feeling start arousing around us. The nervousness before meeting the prospective bride or groom is unexplainable and plus the sweet and sour flavours are added by the family members and the relatives.

This suddenly came to my mind, because one of my friends is going through this stage and I can feel what he is going through all these days. Every moment you have this thing in mind, what would you talk to her, how would she react, will she like me, what would happen, and a series of questions keeps on banging your head every moment. It’s something, which is beyond explanation and plus when you know, once said yes, cannot be brought back. This is really inexplicable and different, something which you would never have experienced before.

The only thing, which I think and would suggest to all my friends going through this stage, is be positive and have an optimistic approach in whatever you do. I know nothing much can be drawn out of those ten minutes discussion, but try and take the best use of those few minutes and transform them to the best minutes of your life. Because, whether you say yes or no, it has to be for your good. So be alert and cautious at every step. ‘Just be yourself’, is the mantra and remember by following this, you can win over any situation.

India accepting the concept of love marriages

Earlier whenever we use to hear the word marriage, it simply meant arranged marriages. No one could ever think of love marriages. In fact love marriage was considered a crime in our grandparent’s generation. But now- a- days marriage corresponds to only word i.e. Love marriage. Most of the marriages in India today are love marriages. Parents today have become more open towards the concept of love marriage and are welcoming the our choices as their daughter in law or son in law. They are more concerned about our happiness rather than their pride and the so called name of their kin. Earlier this was the major excuse given by the family members, when the children use to ask about love marriage. But now, the times have changed and parents have modernized their approach towards love marriage.

In fact in the last few days, most of the wedding ceremonies I have attended were the legalization of bond of love between bride and groom. It is somehow very important in the Indian society to have permission of the parents for marriage and also their blessings are always believed to be very important for the whole marriage journey of the couple. It is actually very good news for the youngsters these days, as no more we need to take extreme steps of running away from our house or to marry against the choice of our parents. But still there are few families who even today like to stick with their orthodox believes related to marriage. They still believe that inter- caste marriage is the biggest of the evil practices that a human being can perform.

A lot more needs to be done to enlighten and modify the thought process of our oldies in respect to marriage and its practices. But, I think, if this much has been achieved, then more reformations can surely be seen in the coming future, with no parents coming in between the love marriage of their children. Thus, making their life a happy and a cherished one.

Institution of Marriage is Demolishing in India

Indian matrimony has always been associated with words like eternity, lifelong, everlasting and forever. It is the most beautiful relation that completes a man and a woman as they spend all their lives together with each other. Though it is not so easy to establish a lasting relation, Indian couples have been hugely successful in doing so. The fact not only fascinates everyone but also encourages them to do the same.

As rosy it may sound, it has changed in today’s times being no more an incorrigible relation. It can now be easily influenced by even the most insignificant and trivial of the issues like incompatibility, lack of cleanliness, bringing work home, lack of time, watching television, communication gap and so on. With women becoming fully aware of their rights and demanding equality, marital tensions are mounting up as males are not able to handle this empowerment. Adultery, extra-marital affairs, ego clashes, suspicion and lack of faith are constantly becoming reasons for the increasing number of marriage break ups.

It is interesting to note as figures reveal that chances of break up in love marriages are higher than in arranged marriages. The records state that at least 50% love marriages and 30% arranged marriages in India end up in divorce. Breaking marriages is not unheard of anymore as rising numbers of couples are opting for separation these days. Out of 1,36,000 marriages solemnized in Delhi in 2009, 10,000 ended up in divorce courts. Like ‘every coin has two sides’, it is good that the couple does not have to suffer with each other forever if not compatible but such increasing figures are sure creating tensions and apprehensions.

The couples are forced to think twice before tying the knot as the sacred institution of marriage is seen crumbling.