Gaye Holud and Its Importance in the Bengali Matrimony

In traditional Bangla, holud stands for turmeric. The turmeric paste is applied on the body of the bride-to-be before their wedding day. As per the general belief, turmeric has medicinal qualities, which purifies the skin and adds a glow to it. Turmeric also helps in reducing the dark spots and pigmentation, and also reduces body hair growth. The turmeric also leaves the skin soft and supple, giving it a fairer appearance. All these benefits are combined with the essential oils to make it more effective for the skin.

In the Bengali matrimony, there is a ritual named as Gaye Holud, in which the bride and groom are applied with the turmeric paste. The turmeric used during Gaye Holud is not the turmeric which is used in the cooking, but the fresh ones. The bride wears a yellow saree during the ritual, and the exposed arms, legs and face are massaged with turmeric paste, which is believed to enhance the beauty of the bride. The term 'Gaye Holud' literally means 'Body Turmeric', referring to application of turmeric on the body before the wedding.

The tradition of Gaye Holud is generally performed by the ladies of the family, who massage the turmeric paste over the bride’s body, tease her and crack jokes to create a light and fun-filled atmosphere. The bride is also offered traditional sweets to make her new life full of sweet taste. With time, the custom of Gaye Holud has changed, and the groom’s family is also invited to the function. However, as per the customs of Bengali matrimonial, the groom is not allowed to join the function and see the bride, unless they are married. Similarly, the groom is also applied with the paste of turmeric, and the bride is not allowed to see him.

Author: Rashmi Karan

Superstitions and Horoscope: Are These the Life Deciding Factors

Horoscope

In the Hindu community of India, the horoscope plays a major role in fixing the wedding and it is believed that the future of the married couple also depends on the positioning of stars and planets. However, personally I don’t believe that the movement of planets can affect anyone’s life. It’s completely the bonding between two, understanding and love that determines that how your future life would be. The families generally believe in matching the horoscope as they feel that their child remains happy and safe. I respect this feeling of elders, but how can planets decide that what you will behave and in which things you will find happiness!

Let me discuss a case here: A Bengali friend of mine was in love with a Kerala guy. In the Bengali matrimony, there is no hard and fast rule about matching of horoscopes, but in Kerala matrimony, the matching of horoscopes is a must in wedding. The horoscopes were matched by the boy’s family and they found that the planets and stars of both are not compatible. The wedding was then called off just because of this silly reason, and my friend went into deep depression. Therefore in my view, there is no point sacrificing any life just for the reasons that the horoscopes are not compatible.

The Kerala matrimony is quite strict about following the Horoscope matching trend. Generally the Keralites believe in arranged marriages and matches are preferred between the same communities, where the horoscopes play a major role in determining the alliance. The compatibility of stars is matched by the family astrologer and it is ensured that at least 16 gunas are matched. Really, there is need for the people to wake up and understand that happiness and understanding is the key for the success of an alliance and not positioning of stars.

A Beautiful Inter Caste Wedding In Bengali Matrimony

Generally Bengalis are considered to be conservative when it comes to the decision of marriage. I got lucky to attend the wedding of my friend who recently got married to a guy from Bihar. The wedding was fun as we got a chance to see a mix of customs from both Bengal and Bihar.

My friend Soumi was so happy to get the life partner of her choice. The bridegroom was also beaming with happiness. The family members of the bride seemed to be a bit tensed about the rituals which were to be performed during the wedding. This issue was very wisely solved by the groom’s mother. Who said that the wedding would be a mix of wedding rituals of Bihar as well as the Bengali Matrimony?

Although there was a kind of miscommunication between both the families as both were unaware of the local languages which people from Bihar and Bengal speak. The atmosphere was so overwhelming to see the family members from both sides trying to respect the sentiments of the other side. The families took care of the fact that it was an inter caste and inter community marriage, and a small misunderstanding would create problems during the wedding. Another friend of mine acted as a mediator, who was actively involved in the marriage, as she was the person who made both families understand about the rituals from both sides according to Bihari and Bengali Matrimony

The wedding was arranged in Delhi, and it was mostly attended by the friends and the close family members from both the bride and groom’s sides. The bride elegantly embraced the groom’s Bihari background, and wore sari as per the choice of her mother-in-law. She looked stunning in a red sari with a golden border. On the other hand, the groom wore topor like a Bengali groom, and the wedding was happily solemnized with the rituals of both Bihari and Bengali matrimony.

Author: Rashmi Karan

Divine Beauty of the Bengali Bride

I have never seen such a beautiful Bengali bride till I met Sutapa. The first time I saw her, her beauty mesmerized me. It was the morning of her Gaye Hulud, a Bengali wedding ritual where the turmeric paste is applied all over the body of the bride. According to belief, the application of turmeric will give the bride a glowing skin. Nevertheless, looking at Sutapa, I wondered whether she actually requires the application.  Her beautiful peach complexion does not require anything.  Draped in a crisp cotton sari, she sat for the rituals. Relatives and friends smeared her with the turmeric paste on all face, hands and legs. Sitting quietly, she was enjoying her every moment.

After a bath, she was made to sit for some more rituals. For the Bengali bride, the morning of her wedding is a busy day with rituals thrown in one after another. Sutapa came out wearing another set of clothes, this time in pure silk. She was made to wear the ‘sankha-pola’, the traditional white and red Bengali bangles which are worn by any Bengali married women. Alta, a red liquid was applied on her hand and feet, however, many Bengali brides also apply henna on hands nowadays.  After a small puja, she was given sweets to eat.

The evening of the wedding day is the time when all Bengali brides are dressed in their traditional attire. Sutapa did the same. She wore a tomato red sari with heavy brocade work, draped in the Bengali way.  The hair was neatly tied in a bun with red roses covering it. The sandalwood pattern drawn on her forehead centering on her big red bindi made her look very beautiful. Decked in gold jewelry from head to toe, she was looking like a million dollar beauty.

Looking at Sutapa, I am sure that most of the Bengali bride will look beautiful. The simplicity of rituals, the traditional attire and the gold jewelry make any bride of Bengal attractive and angelic.

Not only the bride and groom, Bengal Matrimony demands the active presence of other close relatives also, who are the part of this event.

Author:  Shipra Sinha